Saturday Favorites 029: Three years ago

With the recent news of new board passers of the Nursing Licensure Examination, I cannot help but reminisce how I felt when I knew that I passed the test three years ago. (My, that was three years ago already? It just feels like last year.)

School pride, ehem. :D UERM is one of the best Nursing and Medical schools in the Philippines

I remember how my heart was almost beating out of my chest when I got texts from my friends that the results were already released. I was on my way home from Marikina to Cavite. I swear, it was the longest trip of my life everrr. I wanted to fly home. Haha! I also dropped by at St. Clare church in Katipunan with my friends before going home. Luckily, it was my first time to go there. You know what they say when it's your first time on a church -- wish something and it will come true. :)

I remember how firm I was in instructing my family, relatives and friends not to check and look for my name once the results were released. As if they would follow my instruction, I added not to tell me anything if ever they want to check the results. (Funny thing was, my mom tried to check the list online that morning. She was shocked that she couldn't find my name on the list. My aunt rechecked the list that my mom saw only to found out that my mom was actually looking on the list that was from the year before. Of course, they wouldn't see my name on it. Hahahaha!)

See the banner behind us? HAHA. :p

I remember crying in front of the monitor as soon as I saw my name. I had no doubt that I would pass the test but of course, you can never be too sure until you see your name. I remember how sad I suddenly felt upon hearing that one of my closest friends didn't pass (She passed when she took the test again). I remember how proud and happy my family was. I remember offering this exam for my grandparents who died a month prior to my exam date. I knew you were very proud of me Lolo and Lola. You were the first ones who knew I passed, diba? I remember texting almost everyone (who actually cared) in my phonebook about the big news and replying to their congratulatory remarks. I remember receiving a sweet reply from then-someone-special.

I remember how proud I am of myself. I remember being excited for the oathtaking, for processing my license at PRC and for the testimonial dinner. I remember looking forward to start my career. I was just ecstatic and speechless, you know. A sigh of relief and full of big gratitude to God and everyone who prayed for me, that night was.

And that reminds me, I need to renew my license already!

At 23, I believe that was one of my biggest achievements to date. The degree seemed nothing without being legitimate to practice it. I encourage every nursing graduate to take the exam. Even if you fail (but let's hope to God, you will not), so what? Don't stop until you pass the damn test. Nothing beats the feeling of having that two letters legally attached to your name. Don't let the possibility of unemployment hinder you as well.

Three years had already passed and due to unfortunate flow of events in this field, my career is nowhere to be found. Since I passed the licensure exam, I was busy with training, volunteer work, frustrating job hunting, review for the NCLEX and IELTS (and eventually passing both! :D Yes, I just saw my IELTS result earlier and I got an overall 8! :p), figuring out what I really want (which until now I haven't quite figured out) and other sad, desperate moves to start my career. Last year, I got my first job. It wasn't entirely related to nursing, it was something like, para-magkapera-na-lang kind of job. I didn't see any career growth in it. Two months ago, I got a new job and it is something close to what I think I want. I had my frustrating and trying years. I was envious of my friends who belong to a different field because they were already starting their careers immediately after graduating from college. My only consolation is that those days weren't a time wasted. I think of it this way: it was just a long, long process that I have to go through, which I hope and pray that will lead me to something really, really better. I had spent my for-the-meantime-days in a better way. At least, I'm done with everything I need to do that can lead me to have more and better options later on.

Anyway, congratulations to the new batch of nurses! I know there's a ton of uncertainties luring your way but don't let it burst your plans and dreams. Yes, it's sad that with our overflowing number, our country cannot even make use of us. But we can see that they are trying. They did something to stop mandatory payment for volunteer work at hospitals. They started a program wherein they hire more nurses and they widely distribute them to different hospitals and even at rural areas (though they won't be under the employment of the hospital itself). There are a lot of possibilities out there (unfortunately though, some requires you to shell out hefty amount of cash). If you have to go out of the country, be my guest. Being nationalistic and giving service to your own countrymen is a very good thing, there's no denying in that fact. But at some point, we all have to be practical. We all got to pay the bills, somehow, you know.  Also, let's not put to waste the degree that we studied for and the license that we worked hard on for.

After passing the board exam, now what? Here are a few of my suggestions to newly board passers:

1. Do volunteer at hospitals. If you have plans of working abroad, volunteer work can count as experience in some countries. And even if it's not and even if you have no intention of moving out of the country, it still beats than doing nothing.

2. Research. Look for hospitals that has job vacancy for nurses. If your parents can afford, look for places outside the country that you can go to for work and/or study (Some countries require additional units for you to become a registered nurse there). 

3. Look for "backers." I know, job hunting is shitty but if you got a backer, it's no problem. Trust me, that's just how it works nowadays. At least in our field. It's not "where you came from", it's "who you know."

4. If you got nothing else to do, take NCLEX and IELTS and other tests you can take. Even if US is in recession, you will never know when USRN will come in handy. These tests will not only give you another license, but it will actually give you the license to practice in that country some time in the future. It will give you another exit option later on. 

5. If you can't get a decent job at a hospital, go for a job that is near to the nursing practice. It might not be the exact same thing but at least you won't be off-track.

(Photos from my Oathtaking and Testimonial Dinner)

Yaya Nurse.

“Ang NURSE ay hindi YAYA.”

There is a big difference, please.

And that means no offense to the yayas out there. I love yayas! :) I just can’t fathom the crappy association of a nurse to a yaya. It’s a big insult for our part when we studied and worked hard for it for four years. Last time I checked, you need to have a degree in order to be a professional nurse. Just because we help people alleviate their condition and we work in service of those sick people out there means anyone can call as yaya and treat us less professionally. Even yayas don’t need to be treated less! Pero diba?

Respeto lang naman. Propesyonalan naman.

We are not even yayas to the doctors, please! Get over that notion and move your ass to the hospital and see it for yourself!

You all get what I mean. If you’re not dumb and shallow, that is. :)

Hindi naman nakakahiyang maihalintulad sa yaya pero ang nakakainis lang ay may mga taong ganun mag-isip.

Oh well, what can we do? If we can’t change how they think, we can always prove and say that fact straight to their faces EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I vow from this day on that I will not allow anyone, a doctor, a patient’s relative or even a patient itself, to treat me like a yaya na kung makapag-utos e akala mo siya nagpapakain sa akin. I did not study and become a professional to be treated that way.

So to all nurses out there, please, preserve the name we worked hard for and protect our profession.

Thank you.

>>> This is not due to a recent incident that happened to me. This is just my mere realization over recent events that happened in the world of nursing that were either told to me by my colleagues or from an observation.

The Perks of Unemployment?

Two weeks ago, my training at Jose R. Reyes Memorial Medical Center officially ended! :)

I never thought that day would come but it did! Oh how I’ve longed for that day! Oh, don’t get me wrong. I love what I did and that experience taught me a lot but it sure burned me out and frustrated me alongside because I want a job that PAYS me. I’ve had enough training I think. Haha!

And since I’ve been a bum ‘unexpectedly’ (I was supposed to fill 24 days of make-up duty. I already did 6 days of make-up when we double checked at the office, turns out I only have to make up for three days! And I exceeded already.) for four days now, I became a bit clueless and overwhelmed on what to do next (aside from looking for a job) since I set myself to do things starting September.

As I was preparing my credentials the other day, I saw an article from a magazine which I got from a Nursing Expo that I attended last year. I’ll quote some lines.

Unemployed? Turn the tide to your advantage

Unemployment might not seem like an attractive alternative, but with it comes a major advantage – you have more time in your hands. With the right game plan, you can take advantage of a temporary pause between jobs to reevaluate and rejuvenate your career.

Earn another degree. In addition to traditional graduate schools, there are dozens of options for getting job-relevant training year-round. Get an additional degree in marketing, business administration, law or anything related to your current field. This will provide you with an edge over others.

>>> I’ve thought about it way before. I just don’t know what to take first: my Master’s degree or my Fashion Design dream. If I take my Master’s degree, I don’t know if I should take it here or to try my luck applying for a scholarship abroad. And to add to those decisions to make, I also don’t know when should I start reviewing for my NCLEX and take the test because I am also considering the fact ‘what-if-I-get-hired-unexpectedly-soon?’ I also like to take Creative Writing units in UP Open University, just to enhance my ‘writing’ expression and talent (if you really call this talent. Haha!).

Your Hobby could be the next goldmine. Ever spent a spare moment at work wishing you could spend more time fishing, painting, cooking, or whatever your passion is? Well consider your wish granted. Unemployment can be a perfect time to explore your personal passions. At worst, you’ll get to enjoy yourself, at best you may find a way to make money doing what you love.

>>> My passion? Fashion! :) With this free time, I will have the chance to practice (and eventually discover, if ever I have, my innate drawing skills. I HOPE.) sketching or drawing. And I could also try my luck in business! I’ve always wanted to try serious business way back in college. I just didn’t have enough time to do it and enough money to invest for it.

So there! :) Instead of being frustrated at waiting for a job, why not divert that negative energy into something positive by taking it as an opportunity to do things that I’ve always wanted to do? And I wonder why it didn’t hit me before?! Well actually, it did. But I was unclear about the things that I wanted to do before (you can check out my ramblings at my former entries. Haha!). Now that it is all clear and I have the time in my hands, let’s go baby! :)

“Do not fret when things don’t go your way. Maybe there are other opportunities just waiting for you. Get involved, get into the action.”

Moving forward! :)

29 June 2010 -- one of the most disappointing and depressing days of my life! It was the judgment day of one of the careers I ever wanted.

Well, I've been down for days lately and I'm hating it. I have 'grieved' enough over my life's recent disappointments already. And placing my self stagnant in that feeling will be too much already. Being overly depressed over things I can no longer change is so not my thing (Well, exception to heart issues, I believe. It's a dfferent case. Haha!) and will never be part of my options in life so instead, I AM MOVING FORWARD! :) I have been too confused as well with what am I gonna do next but I have thought about it already and I tell you, this will be a start of something new, another plan unfolding. :)

CAREER:

Since The Medical City didn't want me, I will not insist myself on them. I'll give myself a break and jump onto other options that are laid out in front of me. If I can't be an OR Nurse right away as I would have wanted, I'll try my luck in Jose R. Reyes Memorial Medical Center. I'll extend my training there while I process my papers for application. :) As for my US Board exams, I have to take it as soon as possible. But - BUT - that does not mean I will back down on The Medical City, I'll retake my test on December, you wait for me! I'll come back with vengeance! HAHAHA!

LOVE:

This was the number two on my list that I was referring to in my former entry. Well, it had already been settled (see entry), at least for me. I'm leaving him behind me and move forward to whoever target I lay my eyes on. Hahaha! That's it. That's FINAL! I may love him still but I won't look back anymore. I won't gain anything from looking back. :)

FASHION DREAM:
I won't give up on you either. I'm creating ways so you and I can be a little closer. Just give me time to prepare myself and save up somehow for my tuition so you and I can live happily ever after! :) You cost almost half a million, you know! Haha!

So there. So far, that's how my life's gonna start from now on. Wish me luck people! :)

Oh life, what am I gonna do with you?

I've been feeling a little down lately with everything that has been happening with my life right now. I don't know what to do. It's no good at all. I'm not being negative here in general. I'm just sad. Just let me rant in my own little space, okay?

Number one on my list: CAREER!

I've been mentioning a lot in my recent entries that there's this job that I want but unfortunately, I don't think I got it. I had my exam in The Medical City last Tuesday. I had the feeling that I will pass but I didn't receive any confirmatory text since Friday. The people I took exam with received texts already! I'm so depressed. I wanted that spot so badly. I still hope that I will get a text by Monday, just in time for the Psych test on Tuesday. But then again, I don't want to expect that much anymore because it would totally crush my heart. I really felt that I will get in and now that I didn't, I don't know what to do next. I know I shouldn't lose hope. I'm a positive person. But I can't help to be sad. And even embarrassed! I feel like I can't face my groupmates and the people I took the exam with. And I envy them. :( After my training in Jose Reyes, I thought a job in Medical City is waiting for me already. Now I don't have anything to do next after that training. I may be forced to take my US board exams earlier. Tsk.

Okay, I'll call HR Department by Monday. If it's really negative, that's when I should think of what to do next.

Oh Lord, please give me this one. I hope they just forgot to text me or there was a network problem that's why I didn't get THE TEXT.

Number two: Save it for the next entry.

For the meantime, I'll de-stress and re-energize myself through unwatched dvd's and un-updated looklet account... :)

OR, here I come! :)

I finally graduated from my Perioperative Training in The Medical City last Wednesday! :) We had our graduation then we had our after party at Manor. :)

I gotta say, it's one, if not the most, of the best training I ever attended so far. Aside from meeting new people (most of which are my Tita's friends), it was God's answer to me, just when I was losing hope in my nursing career. I learned a lot and it made me look at OR nurses differently, that there's more to just assisting and handing the surgical instruments to the surgeon. There's more responsibility attached to it that I haven't realized when I was a student. Although I know and heard of them and it was taught to us, it all just made more sense now that I am a professional nurse and not just merely a student. An OR nurse is what I want to be (aside from being a fashion designer of course). It's the job that I want right now. It's the next stop in my nursing career that I want to reach.

So to The Medical City, I hope you read my comment in your evaluation form and I will say it again:

Will you be kind enough to hire me as your OR Nurse? :)

*I hope they will hire me ASAP (given that I pass my exam on Tuesday, of course. My goshhh! Wish me luckkk!)!!! :)*

Perioperative Nursing II.

So I started having my duty in the Delivery Room since Tuesday but I only got to scrub in (as second scrub, to be exact) last Friday. We were refreshed with the Surgical Handwash and Rub (Yeah, it's not hand SCRUB anymore! THANK GOD! Haha!), DR instruments and setup and how to operate some machines (My favorite is the monitoring machine used by the anaesthesiologist and the one used in recovery room). Nothing exciting much with the case though because it’s an Elective Caesarean Section delivery and I’ve seen it before already. It was a 3:00 pm case that day and since we need to complete 5 cases each for Minor and Major surgeries, I waited for it. Expecting that the case would be on time, I was wrong. It started around 3:45 pm already because the anaesthesiologist had another case that was not done yet so we waited for her. The cute thing is, the surgeon and the anaesthesiologist assigned to do the CS were a couple but I was more surprised to find out that the gynecology surgeon was the male and the anaesthesiologist was the female! I expected it would be the other way around. Hehe. The surgeon’s good by the way. Aside from the CS, he also did a cosmetic gyne-type of surgery. The patient had a very ugly scar on her abdomen due to a prior operation. She wanted to have it removed and since her abdominal skin was distended due to pregnancy, the surgeon removed the skin (including the subcutaneous fats) with the scar, continued with opening the peritoneum through that same area then stitched it up! Very nicely done. Goodbye extra scar and too much distended skin and hello one clean and straight CS line. Anyway, I was on duty for 12 hours that day since I waited for the case to be finished. The nurse that I was with in the case told me to scrub out already but I didn’t because I think that is just unprofessional. Oh, but I badly wanted to because my friends were already waiting for me for 3 hours at Trinoma! Haha.

25 May 2010. Tuesday. Practicing gowning and gloving. :)

I really would love to work in The Medical City. It makes me feel good about my profession. Okay, that’s kind of a biased statement because the Operating Room is my favourite place in the hospital. But then again, I don’t feel like I’m a slave and maxed out beyond my limit that unfortunately leads to inadequate service and care for my patients. Yeah, call me a bad nurse but try working in a public hospital and you’ll get what I mean. And I also noticed that for the past two weeks, I’m not ranting! Hahaha! So definitely, this will lead me to printing my resume and submitting it to the Nursing Service or HR Department of The Medical City! :) I have a very good and positive feeling that it’s going to be my workplace. IT DEFINITELY IS. It should be! Haha! if you go back to my previous entry, I said that I wanted to explore being a nurse and I wanted to work in the OR so here it is! A blessing from God! :) See, He still wants me to try and be a nurse.

On the other side of things, I mentioned earlier that my friends were waiting for me at Trinoma last Friday. We were supposed to talk about our coming case presentation then have dinner with Dr. Menguita and Ma’am Rachel. Since I was late, we weren’t able to talk much about our case. We just nattered actually! Haha! I missed my groupmates!

Dinner at Avenetto! Dr. Menguita’s treat for us. Yey, I love it! :)

Perioperative Nursing.

I took a leave of absence for almost a month from my training in Jose R. Reyes Memorial Medical Center to attend another training, Perioperative Nursing, at The Medical City which started last Thursday. So yeah, I’ve been a little busy these past few days. Thank God, we have no duty at Jose Reyes tomorrow due to preparation for our case presentation (Yes, I train at two hospitals as of the very moment.). I get to rest fi-nuh-lly! But I still have to polish what I made for our case presentation. Thank God also that we have what seems to be a 2-week ‘off duty’ in Jose Reyes due to a 3-day non-compulsory seminar scheduled this coming week and a 3-day case presentation series next week. At least I’m not that physically tired (only mentally!) in the coming weeks because I don’t need to report back in Jose Reyes until my group’s scheduled case presentation.

Anyway, let me share my experiences in the first four days of my Perioperative Training:

• It’s my first time to go to The Medical City and boy was I amazed! All this time, though I’ve heard of Medical City before (Well, this is a new Medical City. They were located before behind Megamall if I’m not mistaken.), I still thought St. Luke’s (the one in Global is not counted since that one is very new) was the most ‘sosyal’ hospital in the Philippines! I was wrong! The Medical City feels like Seattle Grace Hospital, very Grey’s Anatomy-ish! I love it and I would love to work there! It’s like the dream workplace! :)
• Private kung private, cutting-edge kung cutting-edge!
• We were toured in the OR and it’s the best and biggest OR I’ve ever seen! We were taught how instruments are sterilized, how they are disinfected, how machines and OR tables function. VERY COOL! (Ha! I know how to operate the machine! :p)
• For a medical professional like me, the hospital ambiance itself is very intimidating. Much more the doctors that work there! It’s a big and known hospital and it’s where some, if not most, VIP patients are brought. “To whom much is given, much is expected.” Therefore, there’s pressure to really be the best which is kinda scary and hard to reach. But not impossible! (Yeah, that’s the spirit! Haha!)
• It feels like going to school again. We had lectures for the first three days. Funny because my aunt is also my ‘classmate’. Hehe. And we topped the first pre-test exam! How’s that huh? Haha! :)

So far, that’s the only kwento I have… There will be more though! :) I would be on duty on Tuesday and Wednesday in the Delivery Room so wish me luck! I have to refresh my gowning and gloving skills though. Haha! :)

Next stop: ER! :l

Goodbye Female Medical Ward, Hello ER! :)

Oooh, scary. But I'm looking forward to it and I believe it's gonna be exciting. Haha.

Letter to my wandering self.

Dear Jana,

You haven’t realized that you’ve been training in Jose Reyes for almost a month already (Whew, 5 months to go. Haha!)! But then as days pass by, you seem to lack motivation already. Not that you do not enjoy what you do but it seems to drain you already. The routine work and daily stress drains you. You do and endure all of these all for the sake of ‘experience’ to be placed in your resume so you can land a job outside the country. And as days drag you by, you begin to ask yourself.

“Are you really up for this?”

“ How long will you last?”

“ Is this what you really want?”

“Is this who you want to be in the future?”

And let’s not forget to include in the stress that you’re feeling the frustrating ‘system’ in the government hospital. ‘Things’ don’t have to be that way just because it is a government hospital. In case they forgot, a lot of people are relying for their inexpensive service -- inexpensive yet with QUALITY. There’s no one to blame, I guess. You cannot point your fingers to the government for the lack of funds for it is entirely and completely pointless and there’s nothing you can do about it anymore. You cannot point your fingers to the health care providers as well. But you can point out or enlighten them and even yourself as well (Yes, including yourself, of course.) the real essence of your profession. Lord knows how stressful and hard it is to work in an environment like that, wherein materials and machines are lacking. But no matter how hard and stressful it gets, you should always keep in mind your role – your role to help and be of service to the people who needs us. That’s what you ought to do and you should do, right? And that’s the vow you are going to live by since you passed your respective board exams until you retire. I wish for you and the rest of the health care providers, regardless of the workplace you have, be it in a private or public hospital, to be more compassionate and patient and be more understanding.

Death week.

Another duty week had passed. I’m just going to spill the details of that past week in a bullet form:

• No more Philhealth Accreditation Week so we had more time to sit down and we were less tired than the prior week. Hehe.
• We handled the whole ward but we were still given specific patients to handle. We had one patient each for two days and we had two patients each for the next two days. Now, we will be handling three patients each.
• We had 5 deaths in the past two weeks, one of which was my patient. The first death was unforgettable because it was only our third day but we already witnessed a body being CPR-ed! The second death was very fast, few hours prior to admission if I’m not mistaken. The third death was also shocking. 2 groupmates and I used to take her vital signs and administer her meds then next thing we knew, she had a cardiac arrest and eventually died. The fourth death belonged to that of my patient. It was very unforgettable because of the course of the event leading to her death and it was my first time to do post-mortem care. She was fine day before her death then on the morning of her death, she had difficulty of breathing due to the pooling of secretions in her throat which was very audible when she exhales. I asked her relative to buy the medicine that was prescripted to them the day before so that her secretions can loosen up and I could suction it. The relative bought it and I nebulized the patient. The doctor came and ordered to do nebulization every 15 minutes for 3 times. While I was on my second nebulization, the doctor discussed to the relatives that the patient was already 50-50 and they have to decide already if they’re going to opt for DNR. While the doctor was explaining, I saw a tear fell from my patient’s eyes! Oh my gosh. But then I just acted as if it was nothing. Then I went back to the nurse’s station and discussed what happened to my groupmates. I had only seated for only a minute or two when the staff nurse asked, ‘Kanino si bed 39?’ And I replied, ‘Ay, akin po yun Ma’am!’ And she replied back, ‘Patay na yung patient mo di mo pa alam!’ I stood up from my seat as if my butt was on fire and immediately rushed to my patient. They checked her ECG tracing and it was flat line already so the doctor declared her time of death. I helped the Nursing Aide do the post-mortem care. 
• We did charting already. :)
• So far, the duty days were going on smoothly naman. :)

Another week that was...

I had already started my duty in Jose R. Reyes Memorial Medical Center this past week. Well, the first two days were a complete waste of time. Last Monday we had our final orientation, somewhat a pre-duty orientation thing. Last Tuesday we had our hospital tour. My first two days were a half-day event. They could and should have squeezed it on one whole day.

My bestfriend and I were supposed to meet after lunch last Tuesday but since he had a sudden ‘errand’ from his mom and he became too busy that day, we decided to cancel. After the hospital tour, instead of waiting for him, I went straight home. So I walked towards the LRT Station and I arrived just in time. The train had just stopped and dropped off people. I was about to ride in when I saw him getting off the train! Haha. So while waiting for the next train, we had a little chitchat for a while.

(L) My UERM cap back when I was a student and (R) my new cap

I used to borrow one from a staff nurse in any ward that I was assigned to just to try it, now I have my own!

My first day of duty started last Wednesday. My groupmates and I have a 6-2 shift schedule for the whole month and we were assigned in Female Medical Ward. I wasn’t surprised regarding the patient census of the ward since it’s a public and government hospital. We had a census of 47 patients that day. But it was overwhelming since I wasn’t used to handling a ward that has that amount of patients. And what’s unusual for me was inside that Medical Ward, you can also find the Neurology ICU, Neurology Ward, Oncology Ward (Mini-version actually) and Acute Stroke Unit. Me and two more groupmates of mine, we were assigned in the Neurology, Oncology and Stroke area. The next day, Thursday, the other head nurse assigned us solely on the Neurology area. Then on Friday, we were given four patients each to handle. For the first three days, we only did errands – the normal and usual routine works of a staff nurse except the charting part. I encountered different cases of disease -- weird cases (yung tipong, ‘How come the patient had that?’), shocking cases (yung tipong, ‘Sige, kinuha na lahat ng sakit’), surprising cases (yung tipong, ‘Ha? Yun yung sakit nya??’). The first three days went on smoothly. Except for the part that one of the patients in a ward died. It was my second time to see someone who was being revived. And you know what’s weird? Death will never be a casual event for me but it was my first time to witness an emergency situation na parang wala lang. A patient on a brink of death is an emergency situation but I didn’t witness a panic scene wherein the doctors and nurses were rushing, no code cart was being pushed and parang ang slomo pa ng moment na yun. I know they (and my groupmate Gerald, naks!) tried hard to revive him but to no avail, it was her time already. Working in a place like this broadens your sight or vision and your compassion and strengthens your patience because if you want to meet people from all walks of life, I believe a hospital is one of the perfect places to go to. In a setting like this, the reality of life hits you straight in the face. We all know that not all people are blessed or are fortunate, wholistically speaking. We just know that fact but the gravity of that fact won’t hit you until you see and mingle with different people, be it from your own or out of your circle. In a career field like I have right now, it will never fail to pull you out of your comfort zone and makes you realize that you really should be grateful for whatever you have right now. We often take for granted what we have right now and we sometimes fail to thank God for all the blessings He bestowed upon us.

Anyway, I can say that it was a satisfying week but at the same time it was a very tiring week also, not mainly because of the things we did but because we weren’t able to sit down except when eating! It was the hospital’s schedule for the Philhealth Accreditation so we weren’t allowed to stay much on the conference room or the nurse’s station rather we had to stay on our patient’s bedside! Gosh, my leg muscles were painful and strained from too much standing! I wasn’t (AND NEVER WILL!) used to long standing anymore. Well, even when I was still a student, my legs never got used to almost 7-hours of standing! Mentally speaking, my brain wasn’t that tired compared when I was a student. Medyo chill lang. But I really hate that no-seating part in that week. Haha! And that first three days of duty led me to a realization (which I’ll be talking about in a different entry) – I can’t see myself doing the same work until my retirement age. Why? As I’ve said, I’ll be talking about it in a different entry so let’s hold that thought for a while. Hehe. :)

A good de-stresser is a day with friends. Just when I thought the movie date won't push through, in the middle of my duty Vinci texted me that we'll watch Alice in Wonderland after lunch.

Anyway, ayun, basically we just strolled and fooled around and talked a lot. Naabutan na nga kami ng closing ng mall e. Haha!

Then on a Saturday, my college and friends and I met for Dianna’s birthday celebration! :)

I missed my friends so much! :) I have spent two consecutive days with my friends and it's a sure and best way to destress for the week that was and to recharge myself for the coming week! :)

The First Week. :)

15 Feb 2010

It was my first day of orientation for my Volunteer Nurse Training (Enrichment Course Training Towards Nursing Specialization)! :)

Highlight of the day: Upon arrival at the hospital, I headed straight to the Nursing Training Office. Upon going out of the room, there were 3 boy student nurses walking towards my direction. They smiled and greeted me, "Good morning Ma'am." I was surprised and in my mind, I was like, "What?? Oh no, you did not! But yeah, thanks. Good morning to you too." Of course, I did not say that flat out loud but I knew that it was evident in my facial expression. HAHAHA! I'm not over-reacting! I was really shocked! I appreciated the smile and greeting but the word, 'Ma'am'?! Okay na sana e, kaso may 'Ma'am' pa! I felt old yet respected at the same time. To think I was just in my jeans, very casual. I'm not used to hearing some other person who is not my clinical instructor, not a guard, not a service crew, calling me 'Ma'am'. I didn't know if I should be insulted or flattered. Insulted because I'm old enough for them, flattered because they recognized me as someone to be respected. :) Haha! But it actually jumpstarted my day, natawa na lang ako. Haha.

We had a pre-test which I knew I failed. I sucked! Especially at the computation part! I seem to have forgotten the conversion factors, measurements and the drug computation! Plus I didn't have my calculator with me! I was dumbfounded. 8 months had passed and I seem to forgot what I had studied for 2-3 years? Haha! Oh gosh, idle mind much.

I didn't have friends pa. I haven't even talked, as in daldal na kahit subtle daldal to my seatmates. Loner tuloy ako nung lunch because I had no one to eat with so I went to my mom's office instead and had my lunch there. Boo. I should try talking to my seatmates by tomorrow. After all, they will be my groupmates for 6 months. :)

11.54 pm

16 Feb 2010

It's my second day! :) Today's a lot better than yesterday. Medyo chums na kami ng seatmates ko and I was able to talk more to them. Sila na rin ang kasabay ko over lunch. Hehe. :) Well, puro discussion naman kami kanina. A brief recap of what was discussed during our college years, nothing we did not know but were surely somewhat forgotten. So we needed that 'refresher' discussion kahit medyo boring. Haha!

And I'm going to report tomorrow! I'll be the one to recap what we discussed today. I think I have to review what we discussed for the first two days. We discussed the drug computation this afternoon and as always, I sucked at drug computations and I never mastered it kahit 2 taon ako nagduduty. Natatanga ako lalo na kapag medyo complicated na at iba na than the usual computations ang pinapacompute. Plus, I always have someone to compute with me on duty. Haha!

I have to make bawi in our post-test on Friday!

And oh, we have no duty next week! The whole week! Yeheyyyy! It's the hospital's Foundation Day so March 1 na lang daw kami mag-start but we can participate in the activities they lined up for that week. I'm not gonna participate rather I'm going to prepare for that big week! Haha! Plus a little gala alongside, I guess. No, not guess but YEAH, OF COURSE. Haha! I'm going to shop for 'duty' things as well, yung mga kulang ko. :)

6.44 pm

17 Feb 2010

Third day! :) I felt more at ease with my seatmates-slash-tablemates. We talked more and laughed more. As usual, pure discussion pa rin kami. I did the recap of what we discussed yesterday this morning and a 'refresher' discussion of perineal care (na nakalimutan ko na ang ibang steps. Haha.)

We talked purely nursing skills today. Gosh, I need to read my Fundamentals book, medyo nakalimutan ko na yung ibang steps, mga materials needed. Kapag natetengga ka nga naman ng 8 months! Haha! I mean, generally speaking, I still know how to do it pero may mga tiny, tiny parts na nakalimutan ko na. Haha!

I'm actually excited and looking forward to have my duty because I somehow already have a preview of what the setup is in the hospital. It's way different from UERM in the sense that it's a bigger hospital and it's a local government hospital. So since it's a local government hospital, there are things done 'differently'. Mostly of the patients there are indigent and as we all know, local government hospitals like this lacks budget. So yun. And feeling ko rin mabobongga talaga ako sa mga magiging patients ko, kung may mga 'malala' na sa UERM, malamang mas malala dito at makikipagbakbakan ka talaga. Not literally of course! If you know what I mean. I'm up for the challenge naman though parang ako lang yata sa batch ng trainees na di pa nakapagduty doon (na hindi ko malaman kung good thing ba yun o bad). Although di naman kailangan, I believe I somehow need to show to them (Well hello, dala ko rin name ng school ko. Nakakahiya mapahiya over a petty thing and to think na kilala ang UERM na bonggang nursing school in the Philippines, boasting aside but in all honesty. Haha!) or to even prove to myself na kahit private hospital ang base hospital namin and that's where I mostly had my duty e kaya ko makasurvive sa ganung set-up, sa ganun kabongga na ka-toxican. So yun. Good luck to me! :)

9.49 pm

18 Feb 2010

Fourth day! :) And last day tomorrow! FINALLY. Haha. I was more sleepy in the lectures today! My gosh. That's why I ate a lot, I ate more than I used to eat on the previous days. Haha. And I'm happier with my new set of acquaintances, too bad, hindi kami ang magkakagroupmates for duty, alphabetical daw. Boo.

And here's the funny thing, we had our election of officers! Yes, officers as in class officers. At may muse and escort pa! Oha! Parang high school lang! Hahaha! Ayun, parang gaguhan na lang kanina kasi yung mga nanalo, di naman nila gusto ma-nominate in the first place. Yung VP nga namin, nag-CR lang pagbalik nya VP na siya. Haha!

We have a post-test tomorrow and I'm nearly halfway in reading my notes. I'm sleepy na talaga kaya nag-blog na lang ako muna. Now I have to get back to my reading na. Later people! :)

10.28 pm

19 Feb 2010

Last day! Woohoo. Haha. It feels good that I am looking forward for weekends again. The real essence of weekend means something to me again, Saturday and Sunday isn't any typical day anymore! :)

So ayun, we had our last series of lecture this morning. Then we discussed the guidelines on documentation of the hospital. There are parts that are somewhat similar to what I was used to in UERM but there are parts that I really have to know by heart because it's different from what I was used to. Of course, ibang hospital na ito. Medyo stressful lang mag-adjust at ganito pa ang set-up, entirely different pero keri ko yan. Haha! We had our post-test as well. If I sucked at the pre-test, I'm sure papasa na ako sa post-test! Haha! Then we were given our official group already. We are 6 in the group, one boy lang. I belong to the group 8 (feeling ko magiging lucky ako sa group ko kasi lucky number ko yun. Haha!) and we were assigned in Female Medical Ward for a month. Wee. :)

Since wala kaming pasok next week, I think I'm gonna prepare myself for the duty days ahead of me. Bukod sa medyo slow pa ang utak ko sa mga ganyang bakbakan, adjustment period ko pa talaga. Like what I said to my newly found acquaintances, "Dito ko na malalaman kung para sa akin ba talaga ang Nursing. Tingnan natin kung tatagal ako dito, kung kaya ko na ganito lang ang gagawin ko until I retire." I just can't imagine that I'll be doing this thing until my last breath, pero we'll see. :) I'm up for the challenge. :)

And I miss him. These are the days na namimiss ko siya, yung excited ako magkwento ng week ko sa kanya kasi every weekends talaga kami nag-uusap. Hay. :( Wala na akong de-stresser. :( Anyway, thank you to my bestfriend for being there. :) I missed our nightly sesh ah, weekly sesh na lang tayo ngayon. Hehe. Thanks for being my de-stresser. :)

Hay, good luck na lang sakin next week! :) I hope it will be a good week. :)

11.59 pm

I think I’m moving but I go nowhere.

It had been 15 days since 2010 started and it had been 15 days that I am still bumming around! Well, not totally. Aside from hanging out with my friends, I already started processing my NCLEX 3 days ago and I gave Keith my application form for NCMH (I haven’t finished my autobiography though. Okay, I know. I’m gonna finish it later! :p). I also searched for universities that offer Master’s Degree in Nursing and looked over their program/course, subjects and application requirements. Well, if I am not mistaken, there are no other universities in Manila aside from these two – UERM and UST -- that offers Master’s Degree in Nursing. Yeah, those were the only professionally-related act that I did for the past 15 days! Boohoo. And it hit me hard! I was like, “Come on! I had been a bum since June 8! It’s about time to have my plans materialized and to get my ass movin’ BIG TIME!”

I promised to myself that I will rock my 2010 and just like 2009, I will try to make 2010 MY year. 6 months of rest and relaxation was already enough. Enough rejuvenation and enough to make my mind idle. I need to be tired again! Haha.

As I look back the past 6 months of my life, I felt I did almost nothing!

• I waited for the results of the Board Exam to be released for almost one month and a half.
• I had myself registered as a nurse in PRC and processed my license, SSS, NBI, certification of passing, credentials. The worst part in processing in PRC? It’s not the long lines or the slow poke employees. It’s the waiting and the coming to and fro! I have to wait because processing is in alphabetical order and the first letter of my surname belongs to the lower half of the alphabet! I have to come back on this date to do this, on that date to do that. I even have to wait for my license for a month! Remembering it now, I realized that it took me 4 trips to PRC and 3 months to accomplish all of these!
• I trained at Red Cross so I can be authorized/licensed in giving Basic Life Support and First Aid. (Well, that was SOMETHING! :p)
• After I finally received my license, I had tried applying as a staff nurse for hospitals but to no avail, I am still unemployed up to this moment. I even tried applying as a volunteer or trainee but since the Philippines are overflowing with nurses, we just have to wait for THE call. And waiting sucks! My mom is trying to ‘work’ my papers out just so I can have a job or even training. In our world, it’s not where you came from, it’s who you know.

So while opportunities for nurses here in the Philippines are elusive, I took this time to really think about my other options and to ponder on what should I do next. I know I can’t waste another six months. I’m gonna die! Haha.

While I am still fabulously unemployed, I decided to take my NCLEX. I didn’t want to take it at first but then, what the heck, I should go take it. I won’t lose anything anyway. So I started processing my papers already and again, I have to wait. I have to wait for the requirements/papers I requested from my school. I have to wait for the fingerprint card I requested from the Board of Registered Nurses in California to be mailed to me. I have to mail those documents to California so they can double check my credentials and background, etc etc. I have to wait for my eligibility to take the test. So while I wait for that ‘long wait’ to be over, I have to study for my exam! I cannot, will not and should not fail! Aside from the long processing, the exam itself is expensive! So I guess I just have to self-study after all… Review centers are also expensive! And here comes the hard part: the I-don’t-know-how-to-study-anymore-but-I-need-to-study-all-over again! Haha.

And here comes the hardest moment. The moment where I should finally decide whether I should enter Medical School or take my Master’s Degree then take Bachelor’s Degree in Fashion in few years time. I am still undecided as to where my heart really is. Once I have finally decided over this seemingly endless dilemma, I know there’s no turning back. I HOPE that I will not look back over that option ever again. Oh God, help me decide… Direct me to what Your will for me is.

Yes, I really need to get down serious and do more worthwhile things. No more bumming around!

I need and have to pass that exam.

I need and have to study.

I need and have to take more Continuing Education.

And I need and have to stop linking “Nothing To Do” with “Internet-babad” (Specifically, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, YM-ing.) SERIOUSLY. SERIOUSLY! Haha.