Living Solo

It's been a year (and 8 days) since I started living on my own in my own rented flat. While I enjoyed living with my friend and my brother, I must say, living on my own is as equally enjoyable, if not more.

I am not pressured to clean the house every weekend. Though I still clean every weekend, at least, I know that if I feel like skipping it, it's no biggie. :)

I can walk naked -- from the bathroom to the bedroom, that is. Especially on a day when I put my bath towel in the laundry and I forgot to grab a new towel before hitting the shower. I don't think I can walk naked in any other area of my flat. In my previous one, I have windows everywhere and the ones beside the main door are the only windows with roller blinds na see-through pa rin once the lights are on. In my current apartment, there are big, sliding glass doors in my living and dining area and a big glass window in my bedroom. Both of them have roller blinds also, see-through din except the one in the bedroom. So yeah, I will not give my neighbours a free show, you know. HAHA!

I don't have to cook everyday kasi ako lang naman ang kakain. The meals that I cook on weekends will last for the whole week.

On that note, I also spend less on groceries.

I own all the space so I can place my things anywhere, without invading/occupying my housemate's space.

And since I own a bigger space now, I have more room for my clothes. I mean, for my projects. I have my own mini-office/studio.

I have peace and quiet as soon as I get home. Okay, it's not as if my friend and my brother were loud or I didn't enjoy their company but I have days when I just don't want to talk to anyone or I just want to be alone. When my brother moved in with us, he and I shared a bedroom and hindi rin naman malaki yung apartment namin before na may pwede akong taguan or gawing hideout. Haha!

SUPER LAPIT KO SA WORK! I have no issues with commuting but damn, iba pala yung convenience ng malapit sa work. I save so much time!

Once you live on your own, I don't think you would want to go back to living with someone -- on a housemate level, specifically. Of course, case to case basis yan, depends on where you are in your life. Yes, iba pa rin when you live with your family. Or you realised na mas gusto mo pala ng may kasama. Or, obviously, when you get married to the person you really want to share your home with. But in my case, I had to and I also felt like it was time na din to do so. Kind of similar to when I decided to move here to Australia 7 years ago (today! Grabe, parang kelan lang). And also, afford ko na din magbayad ng rent mag-isa eh. Haha!

And yes, 7 years ago today... I don't know if I'll stay here after I graduate from design school though. I'm aiming to work outside Australia, God willing. And then maybe move there? I don't know. I'm just blabbering these thoughts out there. Iniisip ko din kasi how will I be able to afford a house here later on. Real estate prices here are getting ridiculous every year so I'll have a better chance (and survival rate because di ako mababaon sa mortgage! Hahaha!) of buying a property elsewhere na mas cheaper. Of course, if there will be a good work opportunity here for me, as a budding designer, who am I to say no, right? Oh well, let's just wait and see...

End of another decade

I thought of looking back and evaluating how the past 9-10 years of my life were. You know, to get into that end of a decade/yearend spirit. I sought the help of an old friend named Facebook (We go way back in 2009, hence, a good starting point! If Multiply did not cease to exist, it would have been a better reference.) because we (people my age and younger) all did, at one point in our lives, shared too much stuff there. Back when it was kind of a safe and nicer place, your parents and extended family did not care about its existence and your friends just talk about a lot of things (It was refreshing how pleasant the exchanges were on that section! It was kind of scary how unperturbed we were about our privacy though) on each other's Wall, statuses and comments instead of doing it through personal inboxes. Anyway, I didn't go as deep as I intended to because:

1. I spent too much time reading the convos and witty banters on the things I posted or was tagged to me. 
2. I couldn't help looking at every album I posted and how young my friends and I look in the photos. Physically young. We are still young at heart, thank you very much. Haha! 
3. It also reminded me of the homo sapiens who broke my heart. Hahaha! Wag na natin balikan yun. But truth though? It was nice to look back pala. There were good memories there, I must say. Of course, I did not forget. But I am no longer cringing by the thought of how pathetic I was. Hahaha!

I was also reminded of my accomplishments and milestones (which was reassuring and therapeutic because there are days when I feel like I've barely done anything and I'm heading to whatever it is and who knows where) such as graduating from uni (3 times and another one coming up. But who's counting? Haha!), studying and eventually moving overseas (best decision I ever made so far), traveling a fair share, living independently and slowly turning into a semi-domesticated chick I once thought I will never be (HAHA!), trying new things, meeting more people, Mavs winning a championship (Sobrang over the moon ko nun, I wrote an open letter to the team! #MFFL) and still alive and kicking (or so I think! HAHAHA!) this adulting thing.

And if there were highs, there were lows such as entering the workforce just to slowly kill my morale right from the get-go with shit pay (I know. I should be grateful. But keeping it real here), nearly losing my brother to some fucked-up strangers (which hasn't really come up in family conversations for a long time now), being betrayed by people I trusted (See the trend there? This is why I am extra careful and why I am kind of suspicious/paranoid about some people. Also, I obsessively read and watch a lot of crime-related stories and shows, too, so that is not helping. HAHAHA!).

The main takeaway is, (as always, dami kong hanash!), it was not perfect but it was good. The decade started with me feeling lost and confused as I transition into another stage of my life and a different level of responsibility. Being thrown into the real world on your own after 20 years of having a set plan laid out for you or following the normal, basic steps to take was daunting as it was enlightening. Oh, it was a ride. Innumerable series of trial and error. It pushed me to explore and to toughen up. Nothing can ever really prepare you for it. We all have to work our own way through it. And it never stops. Now, fast forward to 10 years later, while I already accomplished some goals I set for myself, I'm still busting my ass off to get to where I really want to be and everything else that I want to achieve. What is it that they say? Great things take time, right? The next few years, even the next decade, will be tough and scary but exciting. And that's a story we all have to wait to happen.

For now, let's raise a glass:
To good health, to achieving dreams and to new people and places, more memories and better experiences for this coming year and the next decade; 
To my family and friends (you know who you are!) who never wavered with support and love and helped me to get to where I am now; 
To the people who doubted, rejected and broke us and turned us into stronger individuals;
And (actually, grab the whole bottle for this one) to the person we are now and are becoming. We all deserve a pat at the back (and that bottle!) for making it this far and still going, hey! 

May we all have a brighter and blessed new year!

Birthday.

Since I celebrated it with some friends last week, I opted to do it low-key today and spent the day with myself. Started the day with a workout, prepared a nice breakfast (bacon, eggs, waffles with hot choco made from tablea on the side given by a friend), talked to my family and some friends, watched Dirty Dancing, got a haircut, went to church, grilled a steak for dinner, drank a few glasses of wine, ate a slice of cheesecake for dessert, blasted 90s music and danced in my kitchen and bathroom. Now, I'm capping the night off with, not one, but two face masks. So yeah, it was a good day. Let's toast to another great year of pursuing dreams, good health and shaking what my Mama gave me (because I still can! HAHAHA!)

Thanks again to everyone who remembered! And if it's your birthday too, I hope you had a fabulous one!

We go way back

Is there anything better than an intimate and deeper connection to someone? How mind-blowing it is finding out that through the years that bond continuously flourishes?

I've had the privilege of spending some time with a few of my closest friends last week. We haven't spent this much time together since high school. We stayed up until early in the morning and talked about all sorts of things from high school memories to things we haven't really talked about with anyone. We laughed a lot and cried some (Oooh yeeeahhh). We drank and partied on consecutive nights (which I haven't done like ever? Man, I missed dancing!). We pigged out. One of the best weeks ever!





As cheesy as this sounds, there was something in this spontaneous trip that brought us even closer. I can't put into words the overwhelming and happy feeling I felt that it just warms my heart so much (Okay, I'd been told that I repeatedly verbalised this when I had few too many. Hee.) We got to know more about each other. We've known each other since we were barely teenagers and it's exciting to know that there's still a lot to discover. And through the years, we also developed a better understanding of each other. So even if I was running on 3-5 hours of sleep (not ideal, I know) and relying heavily on cups of coffee at work (which I haven't done in a long while), I wouldn't trade those precious moments for anything in the world.

Thank you, guys, for making time to visit and for celebrating my birthday with me in advance! Shoutout to my brother for also making time to hangout with the semi-titas/semi-bagets. Oh, I love you. Can I just marry you guys instead? Haha! See you soon!

New apartments, Design school, etc.

Hey, let's have a chat! (And I mean, me talking to a screen. Lol!)

I had this entry drafted since February! What was supposed to be just an update about my new apartment is now going to be almost a year's worth of update (as if anyone really needs an update about me. Haha!). So yeah, I had been busy with work and uni (When I got a sliver of free time, let's be real, I'm on Netflix. Or -- my new obsession -- BBC and SBS. Haha!).

Yes, you read that right, I am back to uni again. I currently study part-time at Whitehouse, doing my fashion design degree. I am finally doing it! Yayyyy! And I am loving it!

I remember feeling excited and nervous during my first day. It was all new to me. I believe I am creative enough but when we had the very first brainstorming activity for our design process journal, I felt that I was overthinking it instead of just letting those creative juices naturally flow. Or was I just rusty -- creatively speaking? And the next thoughts in my head were, "Omg, do I really have what it takes?," "Will I be good enough?" Then, I overwhelmed myself even more because I visualised internships, exchange student applications, student contests, etc. I was just getting ahead of myself. I eventually calmed myself down and psyched myself to just take it one day and one thing at a time and do my damn best.

So far, I think I am doing well. I am learning new knowledge and honing something I never knew was in me (I draw more decently now! Haha! And I paint now, too! I took a Fashion Illustration class back in Manila years ago. Ugh, I hated using paint and brushes because they are not erasable and harder to manipulate but now I don't mind at all), which is really exciting.

I met new people (Truth be told, I didn't think I'll be hanging out with teenagers. I initially did not really want to because, hello, generation gap? Hahaha! And I'm not in uni that often so I was like, why bother?). I got good grades (not sure about the 2nd term though but whatevs -- okay, not super whatevs, I need good grades if I want to apply for exchange student program so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's not too bad!). It can get a bit stressful working and studying at the same time. There are days when I just want to relax when I get home from work or during weekends but no, I still have assessments to do. Oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do!

Going back to uni is also the reason why I resigned from my other job as well.

I received these flowers and art books, among other things, back in February as a farewell and good luck gift from my now former colleagues. It was an emotional day. It was my longest job ever - 5-year mark supposedly the month after that. It was my first job since I moved to Sydney. I was still a student when they hired me. There was a reason why I stayed there for that long -- my super chill and kind boss and the amazing staff I work with. I once said (even my Mom said so) that I will never leave that place and if I do, it will be because I'll be pursuing a dream. And that day came. It was hard because I have to give up something dear to me. We shared too many memories together. We were like a family. It was bittersweet indeed but I sincerely felt the support and love. So, I will really do my best to make, apart from myself, them proud and to make it all worth it.

And while we are talking about pursuing dreams, a few months ago, I had a dream about me giving birth. I freaked out because I remembered it vividly the next day. Hence, in true Jana fashion, I turned to Google to help me look for its meaning if there is. Here's what I found:

Eerily amazing and apt, isn't it?

Another life adjustment that I did was moving out of the flat I shared with my friend for almost 4 years.

I moved mainly for convenience and space. The flat I moved in to was near my current workplace, just 10 minutes of commute. The space I need is for my future school projects. I need to have my own little studio/work area. I loved this flat (which, apparently, came with a good-looking and very nice neighbour whom I met over dinner they invited me to during my first night. Yaaasss!) and I am enjoying my own company!

My former landlord and brother helped me to move. It took me a week to finish unpacking and arranging the place. Since my workmates knew I moved and that I need stuff for my apartment that will fit my budget, they introduced me to Facebook Marketplace. Man, that section of the internet got me hooked, I tell you. I barely open my account but it made me access it just for that. Whenever I get a spare time at work, I kept checking it. I eventually bought my very first purchase in Marketplace -- my current fridge!

I had the specific dimensions that I wanted, a specific colour in mind and a strict limit to how much I am willing to spend. Three weeks later, I eventually found the perfect fridge, went to the owner's place to inspect it and paid her on the spot! She even knew someone who can pick it up and deliver it to my place the next day. It was a meant-to-be purchase. Haha! It took me three weeks of going back and forth to the shops to buy the most essential things I need, to fill my pantry and new fridge.

Then, 6 months later, I moved to another flat again. I was told that they will not renew my lease as a relative will be moving into that place. Omg, I was so stressed out because I needed to find a new place to live in and fits my budget within a month. I barely had time to look for and inspect rental units and to pack my junk all over again! I was also in the middle of the term in uni. I have to hire a mover and pay the bond. Ack! Not to mention, I felt at home already (Once or twice, I may have walked naked in my hallway. Haha!). I just had my flat-warming (if there is such a term? Haha!) a month prior. My family has visited before that and liked the place. When I found the one (and only one!) that ticks my non-negotiable requirements, I was practically begging the real estate agent to approve my application (not that she has a say on that really because she isn't the landlord! Haha!)

Boy was I over the moon when I found out my application was approved! I moved into this new place three weeks ago. Half of my things are already unpacked and properly placed. Half of them are just properly placed in a corner because I still need furniture to place them at. My mattress was also delivered a few days ago, still waiting for my base. It will take me quite a while to finish decorating my place since I'm currently living on a student budget and my bills take priority over my furniture. But we'll get there. I'm also planning to have another flat-warming next weekend! Yay!

Okay, this is getting way too long. Let's continue the chat in a different entry?

Reflections on 2018

Toxic people.
That was the highlight of my previous year. Or at least that's the first thing that came to my mind. It even trumped my new experiences from that year, I suppose. That was how shitty it was.

I mentioned in my previous year-end post that most of my 2018 were about letting go -- letting go of people who did not turn out to be the kind of person I thought they would be (In hindsight, I knew but I decided to still give it a try. Maybe they became mature enough. They weren't. I have never met anyone as fake, as shallow, as pretentious and as pathetic as them. It makes me wonder why did I even bother?), people who tried to ruined my morale and treated me like crap (I will not elaborate on this. Let's just simply say that work politics never gets old. It was all for the better in the end. I got another job with a better environment with a waaaayyyy better manager! I miss my former patients and colleagues though.). Who deserves those in their life, right? I have a lot and more reliable people in my life, people who appreciate my value as a friend, as a colleague and as a person.

Ah yes, more drama and disappointments.
But wait, there's more. Other than mentioned above. Petty arguments that were blown out of proportion. The immaturity of some people. The dishonesty. The deliberate concealment of things. How and why did we get here? I thought we were way better than this. I thought, at our age, we should be way past this crap. Well, that's what I thought. I guess that's what happens when you expect more from people.

New places.
There is an exhilaration associated with new places and/or new adventures, which is why I decided to spend my birthday by traveling. I celebrated my birthday in Baltics, Berlin, and Bali. It was my first time to visit those places as well so that was extra memorable. I loved my Europe trip. There was an overflow of history and culture, which I loved and expected from visiting Europe. I also met new people along the journey. It is always a pleasure to meet someone so random, especially, if you click right away.

Surprisingly, I enjoyed Bali. I hear a lot of crazy news about Bali here in Australia so when I went there, I mentally prepared myself for the worst case scenario. I was totally wrong. I loved it there. I loved the chill vibe, the food. The beach was nothing special, really. I had seen better but I think the whole island life vibe is what makes people come back. I think it would be my go-to place if I want to go for a quick getaway.

Isla de Gigantes was my first trip of 2018. I went there with my family. It was also gorgeous there. Peaceful. It reminded me how beautiful the Philippines is. I like that it is not as commercialised as other islands/beaches in the Philippines. I hope it remains as it is.

New and better job. Moving out. Design school.
It gets worse before it becomes better, isn't it? What happened with my previous job was apparently a sign and a push. After that incident, things unfolded on its own and eventually fell into their right places. Like it was what was really meant to happen. My new boss is supportive of my plans and she's more than willing to work with my schedule in school. That is very crucial for me - my reality (aka bills to pay, haha!) and dream have to mesh perfectly to make this really work. I found an apartment near my new work and has enough space that I need. The few surprises just before the year ended was a taste of how my 2019 would start and would be. I think these were my achievements for 2018.

Reconnected with my bestfriend.
We went through a rough patch. Generally speaking, we grew apart. However, time has a way of working things out on its own.

Reconnected with other friends.
During my last visit to the Philippines, apart from the usual people I meet up with, I also met up with people I don't usually see or talk to as often. It was a lovely time. I'm glad to know that I have people in my life that even though I don't see or talk to as often, they are still there. We easily picked up from where we left off. Our bond is still there.

Brought back the fringe.
Physically, that was (and still is) my only new feature. Haha!

Less reading and writing than I intended to.
Two of the things that did not go to plan. The rest are probably too minor that I couldn't even remember what they were. Some resolved eventually on it its own or took a better course, as mentioned earlier.

I noticed that I am nicer now (Yay? Hahaha!) especially to people who are foul to me. So far, my gut instinct never fails. I'm good at what I do, I suppose? (as evidenced by my previous colleagues and patients wanting me back and my new boss and new colleagues wanting me to work for and with them) Considering moving to Copenhagen after school. I learned what my love language is! Home shopping could be my new hobby. Newest pet peeve: Someone browses their social media accounts in the middle of group conversation. (Is that some form of a reflex now when you're bored or have nothing to contribute to the conversation?)
Some of the things I realised or learned about myself the past year.

And what now? What's for this year?
Well, I am going to have my eyes lasered. Yay! Gee, I'm excited and a little bit nervous at the same time. I've always worn eyeglasses since 3rd grade. I will probably feel like a new person after the procedure. I want to travel alone again this year. Maybe to Tasmania. Or another South East Asian country. I really want to go to New York also but I don't think I'll be going there by myself though. I hope I do well in school and manage my time accordingly between school and work obligations. I would really like to have a more productive alone time. I want to visit museums and libraries and watch movies in a cinema more often. Go for a walk or hike. Listen to more podcasts. I intend to write and read more and not just drown myself in Netflix. Haha! I bookmarked some writing prompts to help me keep going because I've been saying for the past two years that I'll get back to writing but I can't seem to follow through. I will write here and there at the beginning of the year and dwindle down to nothing, not even a single sentence, by the end. My notebook/blog will be totally forgotten by the middle of the year. Here's to hoping that the prompts will help. I don't care even if I have to write about the most basic topic like my favourite colour or fruit. I just want this to be my form of therapy again. It helps me to clear and to understand both my heart and head. While I was packing my books, I realised how much unread books I have on my shelf! It's embarrassing. Apart from reading and writing, my exercise regime was also forgotten. So I intend to bring more movement back to my days. I also want to do something new. I don't know what exactly though. Maybe something crafty? I'm also thinking of keeping my hair in its natural colour? I don't know why I have to include that. Haha! I've been growing out my previous hair colour anyway. Well, how about deactivating my Facebook account? Since 2015 or 2016, I'd been kind of inactive because too much shit is going on in there. At least in my news feed (It's called news feed, right?). I tried unfollowing some people and pages but I don't really find it as enjoyable as before. Seeing my feed sometimes makes me cranky even. Mostly because of news. There are days when I just want to pretend that I do not know and I do not care what the hell is going on elsewhere. I am just keeping it for virtual connection purposes, really. Speaking of social media, I will continue my seasonal relationship with social media. This is not me social media-detoxing. I just have those days when I can't even be bothered to open my accounts (and I am still alive. Haha!). There are also days when I am in the mood to post (a lot) or be a like-slut. I even manage to be completely off-the-grid for a day. Give me books or series to binge on and I can survive without it even longer. Oh, I need to buy furniture and to decorate and organise my flat! I probably need to declutter my things as well. Maybe I can sell some of my barely used items? Since I will be earning slightly less and spending more (maybe) for school and I also want to travel in between, I need to organise and review my finances and tweak my budget planner. Save up, woman, I am begging you. Haha!

This year will be full-on but do not forget to live a little. Say yes, if and when you can.

What I Discovered about Myself during Flat Hunting

I've been on a hunt for a flat to rent since last month. I'm currently living with my brother and a friend but my brother wants to move out and live closer to work by next year. I, on the other hand, need more space for my future projects in design school and more storage for my clothes (or I should just stop buying, really. Haha!). At the time of writing, I already submitted an application for two flats that I am interested at. I haven't heard anything from them yet so let's see which of those two flats I'll get approved for.

Anyway, while I was scouring real estate websites for flats that fit my budget and is in a location that I prefer, I discovered that I apparently have a mental list, somewhere at the back of my head, of how I like my nest to be that I do not know about:

A bathroom with a bathtub
I know. I have heard it so many times. A bathtub is hard to clean. But the tita in me wants to have a tub where I can soak myself in a bath bombed water on a Friday or Saturday night, with lit aromatic candles on the side, a good, relaxing playlist on the background and a glass of wine or a book within reach. It sounds really tempting in my head. But we'll see if I will actually regret this choice later on once I start cleaning my own tub.

... or just a shower area that is not in a bathtub
I just realised during my recent trip to Europe, in the middle of taking a shower, that I don't like the combined tub-and-shower style in the bathroom, like most hotels have (or I have been to at least). I don't want to sit and soak in the same place where I scrubbed off the dirt in my body.

A floor without a carpet
I just think carpets are dirty. Like dirt and virus are hiding in between their strands. I feel like I can't clean it properly because it's hard to tell the difference between a clean and dirty carpet unlike when you have timber, tiled or polished concrete floors. I don't mind a carpet as a floor decor though.

An open-plan kitchen
I thought I wouldn't care that much about the kitchen design but upon inspecting the flats for rent, I realised I like an open kitchen. With a counter in the middle, if we are being specific here. Haha! I know that the food odour from the cooking will not be contained in that space if it's an open-plan kitchen but I feel like it's easier to move around if it is designed like that. It's easier to converse with guests while you're in the kitchen and they are sitting down in the living room or in the dining area. I'm not a great cook and I'm not in the kitchen as often but I realised that kitchen matters to me. Haha!

A little backstory: Ever since I saw the Humphreys' lovely abode in Gossip Girl, I've always dreamed of having a loft -- brick walls, open space, high ceilings, wide and tall windows, the beauty of unfinished rawness. In fact, I found two loft-style apartments but it was way out of my budget, unfortunately. So yeah, I really like open spaces.

A laundry room
Similar to the kitchen, I didn't think this would really matter to me until I saw it. I think it's nice to have that little space where you can hide your huge washing machine and/or dryer, place your hampers for dirty clothes and segregate them already by colour, do your laundry, fold and iron your clothes and store your laundry-related items. Even cleaning items, I suppose.

A deck, veranda or balcony
Since I am so tita now, I like to sit down or hang out in a space that is not in front of the TV or the computer to drink coffee or tea or read a book. It'll be also a good space where my guests and I can hang out.

Bar area/bar cart
I saw this in Don Draper's office when I watched Mad Men. Not that I drink often but I think it would be fun to have one. I've always wanted to learn mixology, anyway, so that would be handy while I am learning and practicing. Haha!

Natural light
Lots of it. Hence, I like big windows or glass doors going to the deck or veranda. This also explains why I like lofts.

Crazy amount of storage or space
That's one of the main reasons why I am moving out. I need more space and storage. I prefer a built-in floor to ceiling closets or cupboards or any space-maximiser storage really. Or even a space big enough for me to add on shelves or cupboards.

Modern 
When I was younger, I imagined the style interior of my future home to be somewhat French-inspired -- French windows, grand tapestries, pattern plays, intricate details. Think toned-down Rococo or Regency style, perhaps. As I grew older, however, I realised that, while it is lovely to look at, I don't find it as homey as I'd like my place to be. At least in terms of my own definition of homey. Apart from the people living in it, I know that the cosy vibe of a home also depends on how you will decorate your house and what items you will buy. But that style is too glam for me. And I like glam, don't get me wrong. I'm all about that glam style or vibe except in my future home.

Hence, the flats that I liked have sleek and no fuss interiors -- streamlined cupboards, clean lines, neutral colour palette, clear glass on windows, unadorned tiles or walls. It is the perfect foundation for my style preference in decoration, which I think is called:

Eclectic
Even with my fashion style or choice of any personal item, in general, I find myself leaning towards a mix of modern and eclectic style -- simple or classic with a little twist, colour and here and there, exquisite and unique details and textures, a mix and match of vintage and contemporary items. Okay, maybe a pinch of glam, too. That's how I want to decorate my future place, too. The flats that are within my budget are unfurnished so I could and I am going to jazz it up with quirkiness, colours and textures. Let's be honest, it will not be my apartment if it will not have a pop of colour or quirkiness here and there.

Which leads me to this conclusion:

I will be totally obsessed with the furniture, appliance and home decor hunting and purchasing and interior decoration. No doubt. I'm looking at Pinterest and home-related websites like my life depends on it. I am starting to be OCD with the details and reviews of appliances. Haha! But I'm sure this will be fun.

Oh, adulting. I hate you. I love you. Haha!

{ Photo Credits (from top to bottom) : 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 }

Here we go, let's do this!

You know that overwhelming feeling because you know that a big change, which is in your favour, is coming? You're scared. You're optimistic. You feel like crying. You're excited. You're stressed. But above of it all and regardless, that fire in your heart is burning more than ever. You're inspired and dedicated. You know that, by hook or by crook, you will go through it. You will make it happen.

What's this big change that I am talking about? It arrived yesterday in a form of an email -- my offer letter from Whitehouse Institute of Design! OMG. This is it. I. CAN'T. WAIT! Let's do this! AAAHHH!!!

I promised myself that once I get the chance, I will not let go again and set this aside. And here we are, about to take another gamble for the future. My head's kind of in a mess right now, anticipating and thinking about the changes and adjustments I have to consider or do. But my heart is stronger than ever. 14 years too late though but hey, I am here now. I owe it to myself. My passion deserves a chance. I deserve a chance to do something I have always wanted. I have always done what my family asked or wanted me to do in terms of career or job choices because, aside from avoiding an argument I will never win, I wanted to make them proud and I did not want to disappoint them. Don't get me wrong, I love them dearly and I know it was for my own benefit. And no matter how frustrating it made me feel, I completely understood where they were coming from. And that's what even makes it more frustrating -- they have a point. They always have. Perhaps, that's why it took me this long to do it. At the end of the day, I still needed their approval. However, more than anyone right now, the person I really want to make proud and I no longer want to disappoint is myself. I held on for as long as I could and now that I have the opportunity to do so, this time, ako naman.

So cheers to a new chapter. 
A restart. 
To chasing dreams, never giving up and making things happen.
(And to future empty bank account, sleepless nights and decline of my social calendar! Haha!)

The Sunday (Monday) Currently: Volume 12

It's a Monday and a holiday (Queen Elizabeth's birthday). Since I wasn't feeling writing something yesterday, I thought of doing this today even it's not a Sunday.



R E A D I N G 

phone messages, tweets of people I follow

W R I T I N G 

what needs to be written for my final assessment

L I S T E N I N G

Unwind playlist in Spotify

T H I N K I N G
of what happened the past week.

It was emotionally intense. It was kinda crazy. It was overwhelming. It was draining.
I don't want to go into details because it is all very personal. But, I'm glad that I was able to think things through and I've spoken to people I needed to speak to in the past few days. It is already resolved from my end but it is still not case closed for the rest of the people involved so I'm hoping the issues will be further discussed and the people that still need to talk to each other and to patch things up will be able to do so. Maybe not now but, hopefully, soon.

S M E L L I N G

dinner

W I S H I N G

that the news about Anthony Bourdain's death was all a lie

But it wasn't.



A couple of days ago, my friends and I honoured him by eating good food and trying new dishes. Well, we already ate in SaltVine but we decided to try other dishes such as:

Lamb Kibbeh

Syrian String Cheese Cigars

And of course, we couldn't say no to their Zaatar fries!

And the Chargrilled Lamb Shoulder and Scotch Meshwi.

H O P I N G

they would figure things out and patch up

W E A R I N G

my winter gear - matchy-matchy flannel pjs.

L O V I N G

the DIY beach bag that I made



I found this rug in IKEA a few weeks ago.



I liked the stripes and the fabric as well. I thought it was too pretty to be used just as a rug... With some folding, pinning and sewing, I got myself a new beach bag. :)

N E E D I N G

to exercise

I'd been slacking off the past two weeks because winter just started and all I wanted to do is hide under the sheets. Then I had my monthly girly thing. Now, I feel so meh and guilty about it.

Speaking of monthly girly thing, last Tuesday, I almost passed out at work (Eksena as always. Hahaha!) because of cramps. I will spare you with all the gory details though. The funny thing was an hour before the incident, I was speaking to the mum of one of my patients about how lucky babies are because they can sleep anytime they want. Unlike the adults, they can't sleep anytime they want, case in point, when you are at work. Then after that, there I was, asleep on the bed of one of the doctors. Haha! Anyway, I'm just thankful that my colleagues were so sweet enough to take care of me. :)

F E E L I N G

relieved and grateful

My uncle's surgery was successful. He's not out of the woods yet but so far, so good. We will take it one day at a time. Thank you, Lord. :) And as I've mentioned earlier (refer to Thinking section above), I was able to process and discuss issues that were raised to my attention during the past week.

C L I C K I N G 

YouTube videos

If I'm not watching series or movies, I'm watching vlogs, travel videos and makeup tutorials from some of my favourite YouTubers.


As for an entirely different topic, My friends and I saw Priscilla, Queen of the Desert musical last Saturday.



I liked the story, the punchlines, the humour, the songs used and the costumes. However, I find that it was lacking a bit with the stage production (Well, there's not much you can do when the setting is at the desert or in the bus, I guess.) and... feelings? I'm not sure. There's something slightly off that I can't pinpoint. I was also uncomfortable that a Filipina was portrayed in a racist and sexist stereotype (But, true to some extent, unfortunately, let's not kid ourselves here). Apart from that, it's a good musical. I'm thinking of watching the film.

Sneaking in some ootd shots before dinner

* The Sunday Currently link-up *

The Sunday Currently: Volume 10

R E A D I N G 

skincare blogs (Honesty for your Skin, Detail Oriented Beauty and NiaPattenLooks)

I've always been interested in skincare because of my hormonal issues and the shitty skin that comes with it. I think I'm slowly turning into a skincare geek. Recently, I've been looking into organic, cruelty-free and vegan kind of brands.

W R I T I N G 

nothing?

L I S T E N I N G

80s music playlist

Janet Jackson, Madonna, and the likes.

T H I N K I N G
of trying out asap skincare and/or The Ordinary. Hmm.

S M E L L I N G

my body lotion

W I S H I N G

the money in my bank account is endless? Hahaha! 

A girl can wish.

H O P I N G

That the Airbnbs which I am eyeing for are still free!

W E A R I N G

flannel top and fleece pjs

L O V I N G

photo shoot that we did earlier today

So excited to see the final photos. Meanwhile, here's the preview:

Sorry for the blurred photo. This was just a screenshot of an InstaStory that my friend posted.

N E E D I N G

to buy a plane ticket for PH and to book our Airbnb in Berlin

Seriously. Parang ilang beses ko na sinabi 'to, di ko pa rin nagawa. Baka di na available yung mga bet ko!

F E E L I N G

accomplished

Headed to the mall after work and did my research on Thursday night for one of my assessments. Finished my assessment that night and submitted it the next day. Went to Ikea after work as well to do some shopping for our photo shoot props. Slept in for two days. Finished all house chores in half a day (OMG, sobrang Tita because considered accomplishment na ang sleeping in and house chores. Hahaha!) hence, chick flick movie night and drinks as reward thereafter. Photoshoot for our projects this morning (which I will share once my friend finishes post-processing the photos). Foodtrip with friends.

Beschico for lunch earlier! :)

C L I C K I N G 

Shopping online for skincare

I decided to try The Ordinary skincare first because it's cheaper. Lol.

* The Sunday Currently link-up *