30 December 2009

:)

Thank you because you were worth it. You were worthy of every word of my confession and honesty. Thank you for being honest to me as well. My Christmas wish had been answered. :)
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24 December 2009

MY 2009: riding the highs and digging the lows

Year 2009 is one of the best years of my life.
I met new people and gained new friends.
I finally finished my studies, earned my degree and passed my licensure exam.
I fell in love again.
My family and friends are still there, complete and alive.
It was such a happy and fulfilling year.

But it wasn't an all-year happiness.
I lost both my grandmother and grandfather.
I broke my heart.
I don't know if I lost a friend.
I messed up at some point.
Crisis struck our country.

Now that 2009 is about to end, I don't know with other people, but there comes a point where I look back and see how my year was, if I did something terrible or meaningful, if there are memories that I have to keep or just throw away, if there are people that I want to stay or just forget.

Let's start with the things that I did.
I know I am not a good girl and I know I am not a super bad girl either. I may not be good the entire year but I know I did something good in my own little way. I helped, I made someone smile or laugh, I prayed for someone, etcetera. Yeah, it may not be something to brag about but those were sincere acts. And oh. Let's not forget the mean things that I did, both intentional and unintentional. Oo na, minsan kasi masarap maging masama. Hahaha. Hindi ko na babanggitin yung mga yun, yung mga kasama ko gumawa nun, ALAM NA NATIN YUN! To all those whom I hurt intentionally and unintentionally, who were affected by my bitchy remarks, at mga kung anu-ano pa, I am deeply sorry. I know hindi excuse yung kasarapan maging masama or me being out of control or way out of the line sometimes or me losing my temper, or me just being plainly mean. Kaya ayun, sorry.

Now let's go to the memories.
When it comes to memories, of course, keep the happy and memorable and forget the sad and shitty! Duh? Hahaha.

Now let's go to my favorite part and the real purpose of creating this entry. I gotta thank the people that I love and never left me behind! Amidst the low points in this year for me, I have lots of reasons to be thankful for and I have a few people to thank to. Kaya let's hit it! :)

GOD
Thanking God will never be overrated kaya Siya talaga at Siya dapat ang una sa aking list. :) With all the blessings He bestowed upon me and my family and my friends as well and with all the things that happened in this year, be it good or bad, i owe it to Him. Thank you God! I love you! :)
FAMILY

These are the people that no matter what they do, they can't get rid of me. Wahahaha! No, but seriously, thank you for believing in me even though sometimes I fail to believe in myself, for supporting me in everything that I do, for loving me unconditionally, for taking care of me, for being there when I need you or kahit hindi, for giving me everything that I need, for helping me in my career, for being proud of me, for plainly everything. This goes out most especially to my mom, my uncle and my aunt. :)

FRIENDS

I have lots of friends pero this year, sila talaga yung mga tumatak sakin.
BOBBIE-JOANNE-JOLO-LEE-LIANA-VINCI




You guys never left me after all these years! Pinaghiwalay man tayo ng college life, lalo man tayong pinagago ng college life but I know and proven na isang tawag ko lang sa inyo or isang post sa Wall sa facebook, to the rescue na kayo sakin. Thank you kasi if there are things that I can't say to my family, sa inyo ko nasasabi and you guys listen to me no matter how lame or how pathetic my problem is. Tapos sabay paiiyakin nyo ko at pagtatawanan. Hahaha! Thank you din guys for supporting me with whatever I do and for taking care of me. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for sticking with me kahit may kasamaan ang ugali ko. Wahahaha! Thank you for sharing such wonderful memories and years with me. Thank you for the best friendship. Thank you for the trust, for the love, for everything. Alam nyo rin naman na I'm always here for you diba? Willing na willing nga ako umupak para sa inyo e. Hahaha! Hay naku, mahal ko talaga kayo ng super superrr! You are the siblings that I never had but was given to me in form of friends. Madami na tayo napagdaanan and sana by 2010, mas lalo pa tayo maging strong! At gusto ko hanggang sa magkaanak ako, magfafamily gatherings tayo ha? Ang cheesy ko no? OO NA! SORRY NAMAN! Hahaha! Hugggg.

SCCT
Maraming may hindi alam pero sila talaga ang barkada ko nung high school. Alam ko na after we graduated, we rarely see each other, as in super rare talaga, but I know na we can always rely on each other for whatever. Thank you guys kasi nandyan pa rin kayo for me and alam nyo naman na I'm always here for you din. Kahit naman matagal tayong hindi nagkikita, our bond is still the same, like we were never separated. Actually since second year tayo, nagkahiwa-hiwalay na tayo kasi magkakaiba na tayo ng section. So parang class lang yan, hiwa-hiwalay for hours pero pag lunch break, it's another session of girls gone wild! hahaha! Thank you kasi dahil sa inyo e sumama ang ugali ko. Wahahaha! Joke lang! Thank you for the years and memories we shared. Thank you for the friendship, for the love and for the trust. Miss ko na kayo mga bitch! hahaha! Magkita na kasi tayooo! Love you much! :) Hugggg.

ABI-BOGS-CHAM-CLARE-FRANNIE-GEN-HEKI-JUYJUY-KAT-KAYCEE-KEITH-KRINI-LEANE-MARA-MIKA-PIA-PITS-SAB-SIS-SISSY

ANG DAMI NYO! Hahaha.

Sa lahat ng groupmates and friends ko.
Sa lahat ng nakasama ko sa Management and eventually naging friends ko.
Sa barkada ko.
Sa inyong lahat.
Thank youuuuu!

My college life won't be the same without you people! Sa mga kasama ko magtago sa mga CI, sa mga kasama kong nandaya ng NCP at Gordon's at Documentation, sa mga kasama ko pumila sa PRC, sa mga roommates ko nung review, sa mga kasama ko
sa duty and class, sa mga nagtiis sa kasamaan ng ugali ko at paminsan-minsan na katangahan at kasabawan, sa mga kasama ko sa okrayan, sa pakikinig sa mga kwento kong walang katapusan, sa mga nakasama ko ma-stress, sa mga kasama ko kumain ng streetfoods, sa mga kasama ko sa kalokohan, at sa kung anu-ano pa. Thank you for all the memories! I am very grateful to have met you guys. Sobra. Thank you for being there for me, for pushing me beyond my limits, for the encouragement and motivation, for helping me. Hindi rin naman ako makakagraduate at makakapasa ng boards if it wasn't for our help. Kahit hindi na tayo nagkakausap masyado ngayon pero sana tight pa rin tayo by next year! :) Thank
youuuu! I MISS YOU ALL! Love you much! :) Hugggg.
HEAVEN

Ay sus, ikaw pa makakalimutan ko??
Sa lahat ng mga sinabi ko sayo, sa dami ng sulat ko sayo, ano pa ba ang hindi ko sinasabi sayo??
Since day 1, I had been thankful to you. And for the millionth time, I will never tire thanking you for the things you did for me, for the memories we shared, for the years we've known each other and we've been together as bestfriends. Thank you bestfriend. :) Thank you for being patient with me, for allowing me to be violent to you (WAHAHAHAHA!), for being a good listener, sa pagtitiis mo sa pag-nag ko, sa pagtiyaga mo sunduin o ihatid ako, for being there no matter what, for taking care of me, sa mga pantitrip mo sakin, for the friendship and trust, for being honest and open, for the seemingly endless conversation we always have, for making up for the time lost nung nagkahiwalay tayo nung college, for being a brother, a friend and an unofficial BF all rolled into one, for everything. Alam mo na yung mga yun. :)

It's the holiday season so dapat happy! No drama messages from me. Kaya ayun, thank you. And I trust in what you said that no matter where we are, the friendship we have will always be the same. And I trust in the friendship that we b uilt na it will overcome the distance that will soon envelop us. We will always be the bestest bestfriends everrr. Love you much! :) Huggg. Hay naku, super mamimiss kita. Okay, hold back the tears. Haha.

KEN


Paano ba naman kita makakalimutan e pinagsayaw mo ko ng Patron Tequila e kabago-bago pa lang natin magkakilala! Hahaha! But seriously, in that span of almost a month of us knowing each other, I want to thank you because you were nice to me. Akalain mong kabago-bago lang din natin magkausap e lovelife ko na agad ang kinuwento ko sayo! Thank you sa pakikinig mo at sa pag-aadvice mo sakin. Thank you because you you gave me a chance to get to know you even a little somehow. And I bet di mo ko makakalimutan, kapangalan ko ba naman ang first girlfriend mo! Wahahaha! You are among my new friends this year so I hope kahit nasa Canada ka na e friends pa rin tayo ha, Herp? Hahahaha! Hay nako no, kahit sandali lang tayo nagkasama dito sa Pinas e yung mga memories that we shared will never be forgotten - yung pumunta ka ng Cavite, we made the video and the surprise, nung tumambay tayo sa UST after the surprise. I miss you Herp! Hahaha!
And as for YOU, oo ikaw nga.

For the friend that I gained in you.
Thank you so much. Super much.

The succeeding words you will be able to read, I don't know how to say them but I know I just have to say it. So just bear with me and take time to read or listen.

For that smile and happiness that you unknowingly brought back into my life.
For that jumpy feeling and inspiration you unknowingly gave me.
For making my heart palpitate. For making me almost breathless. For making me nervous and speechless.
For being sweet and caring. For being open and nice. For being thoughtful and very appreciative.
For everything that you are, head to toe.
Thank You. Super, Super much. Ikaw na lang ulit nakagawa nyan.

I would have wanted to tell you this upfront or even while we 'talk' pero alam ko naman na ayaw mo akong kausapin. Super miss na kita. As in super. I miss the late night YM sessions and the random texts. Namimiss kong hintayin ka sa YM. I miss your kwentos. I miss your corny lines. I miss you calling me names. I miss you listening to whatever I have to say. I miss the way we were. I just miss everything. It feels like ages since we last talked. Kung galit ka man sakin or kung may issue man tayo, sana, if it's not too much to ask, sabihin mo naman sa akin. Alam kong meron. I know you are busy and this is the least thing on your mind right now but I am still hoping that you're still gonna talk to me. Sorry kung kinukulit kita about this, alam kong hindi ito yung right time but it feels like the right time for me to say this.

At this point, siguro naman alam mo na kung bakit ko sinasabi to. Oo, yun na nga yun. Wala nang iba. Can we please stop playing mind games and stop talking in riddles? Kakainin ko na hiya ko because I just can't take it anymore. For the past 7-8 months i think, you messed, you occupied and you bothered both my heart and my mind. Ang gusto ko lang naman dati ipakilala ka sakin ni Kla, di ko naman alam na aabot sa ganito. Assuming na ako kung assuming pero part of me thinks you felt the same or at least part of me hoped that what we had wasn't just a feel-good time or a plain joke or a pure friendly thing. O diba, ang gaga ko. Haha. Ayoko magpadala kasi ang kapal nga naman ng mukha ko mag-assume o umasa. I tried to stay away but you made it so hard. Pero nung nalaman ko na may iba ka pala talagang gusto, I felt stupid na nangarap at nag-wish pa ako na sana ako na lang. I didn't want to throw away the friendship that we had just for that kaya I tried to be your friend and stayed as your friend. E mas lalo pala akong nahirapan makawala. Binulabog mo mundo ko. Until now di ko alam kung ano na gagawin ko. Di ko alam kung maghihintay pa ba ako na mapansin mo or I just have to face the fact na nangangarap lang ako ng gising. I apologize for crossing over that boundary, di ko naman intention. Sorry talaga. But for what it's worth, napapahiya man ako right at this moment na binabasa mo to or mukha na akong tanga nagsasalita ng mga kagagahan ko, I still owe you my gratitude for making me smile and for making me inspired. Atat na atat nga ako umuwi nun every weekend from review kasi excited na ako makausap ka and excited ako matapos mag-boards kasi finally di na hati ang attention ko. Hay. Whatever your reply to this or kung magrereply ka nga, bear in mind na I'm still your friend regardless of everything I said. Alam kong irereject mo ako, it's okay. Keri ko yan. Prepared na ako. Haha. I prefer to lose you as my 'someone special' than to lose you as my friend. Nangingibabaw pa rin yung friendship natin over what my heart is saying, that is if we are still friends e parang ayaw mo nga ako kausapin. So yun.

This is so un-girly, I know. Sorry. I just have to let it all out. Nakakahiya tong ginagawa ko so wag mo lang ako pagtawanan ha, uupakan kita! Hahaha. And I just hope na you won't be a bragging airhead about this. And I also hope that above all of this, I still have you as my friend. Gustung-gusto kita itago as my friend for a lifetime. Pero kung hindi man, thank you for that short span of time you've given me to get to know you.

So ayun, Happy Christmas to everyone! :) Hope you had a good year because I know I did and let's all pray for a wonderful and blessed 2010 for all of us! :)

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10 December 2009

So long sweet summer. :(

Yes, that was the last piece of effort I can give, my last string of trying. Kinain ko na ang pride ko to even tell you how I miss you so much and then what? I admit, I expected a much better response, even a well thought of alibi. And that was it. That was my limit na ikaw mismo ang naglagay para sa akin. You made it very clear now for me.

I shouldn't have done that in the first place because I was starting to let you go and move on with my life. But hearing your side made me want to talk to you and settle things. Ako na nga ang nag-open ng topic e, I asked you kung may problema ba tayo or kung galit ka sakin. Ano ang reply mo sakin? Dude, that was the safest and one of the unconvincing alibis I have ever heard in my entire life. That was your chance to speak up but you didn't. Obviously, you didn't want to settle this issue and I get it. Maybe it's not the right time or maybe there will never be the right time. Kung may dapat talaga tayo pag-usapan at kung importanteng mapag-usapan, you'll answer me appropriately but you didn't. Idadahilan mo sakin na nagfofocus ka for your boards? I wanted to believe you but I just don't.

This is too personal but for the sake of me letting this out of my system, I'll speak about this as if you are reading this.
... I missed you. so much. I never thought I still would after all that happened -- na akala ko may iba ka all this time, the argument we had, na feeling ko pinaasa mo lang ako. Missing you didn't hit me until recently, almost a week before this revelation. After what seemed to be a big argument, I thought we were okay. After the initial talk that we had after the argument, malamang pareho tayo nangangapa if okay na ba tayo. But the succeeding talks after that seem the same -- very cold. For the sake of us being civil, i guess. Hindi naman ako tanga para di mapansin yun na we are talking for the sake of answering questions that we threw at each other. Hindi ka na nagkukuwento at napaka-shallow ng conversations natin which was so far from the previous talks that we had. Hindi tayo ganun mag-usap. I thought at that point na it was because of the argument that we had pero hindi pala...
... How sure are you na it was you that we were referring to? If there was a conversation na it was you we were referring to, sorry kung nasaktan ka sa mga pinagsasasabi namin. really sorry. Pero sana naman alamin mo kung bakit kami naasar sayo. Di lang naman ikaw ang nasaktan, ako rin. I just didn't know na you were hurt too kasi i thought you didn't care.
... Can you blame me entirely for this? You never gave me enough affirmation and an upfront confirmation regarding us so what do you expect me to do? Malamang umaayon lang ako sa pinapakita mo sakin or sa mga nalalaman ko because I don't want to look desperate at umaasa and I don't want to place myself in a position na masasaktan ako ng sobra dahil sa walang kasiguraduhang sitwasyon natin. If there's one thing my previous experiences taught me yun ay yung huwag masyado magpadala sa mga pa-ganyan ganyan. I don't want to assume and maybe there are things that you did that I overlooked. Bakit kasi hindi mo pa ako tinapat? Bakit mo pa ako pinakikiramdaman? Ikaw kaya tong lalaki! Yun lang naman kasi ang hinihintay ko sayo tapos yun rin pala ang hinihintay mo sakin. Kakaiba ka naman! Habang tumatagal, don't tell me hindi mo pa rin nahalata? Ano ba! Before you even came, sinabi ko sa sarili ko na ayoko na and you changed it all. Hindi mo lang alam how big that step was for me. Takot na akong mag-risk ng puso ko but I was willing to risk it for you because I know you will be worth it, ikaw lang talaga inaantay ko because I still want to be sure somehow. You being sweet and honest and open to me wasn't enough justification that you feel something for me, I need for you to say it! DUH! I need to hear it because I want to know kung hanggang landian na lang ba talaga tayo or may patutunguhan tayo. Nagegets mo ba what i am trying to say? And who would have even thought na aabot tayo sa ganito? Before, Kuya-ka-lang-ni-Kla-na-type-ko, ngayon, AY NAKO! Nakakaloka ka lang.

...Right at this point, tama na. I did my part. Kung later on e maisipan mo akong kausapin about this, kahit wala nang point, willing naman akong kausapin ka just to clear my side at yung iniisip mo sakin and we'll see what happens next. OO, dati kahit sabihin ko na ayaw ko na, part of me gusto pa rin kita because somewhere in my heart believes na what we have will prosper. I didn't have the confirmation na you were interested in me too until I heard it that you are missing me and what we used to have and what we used to do. Oo, nafifeel ko naman na baka may gusto ka rin talaga sakin but as I've said earlier, if there's one thing I learned from my previous experiences, that is never to assume. (Pero sabi nga ng bestfriend ko, huwag din ako mag-overanalyze or masyadong magpaka-patay malisya.) Oo, kinikilig ako sa mga statements mo na may pagka-corny or yung mga little sweet nothings. Pero ayoko isipin na yun na yun. Rumaride lang ako pero underneath the sweet nothings that I said, I really meant it and I was hoping that you really meant what you said. Kaya sana naman, intindihin mo rin yung side ko kung why I appear to be playing safe or parang urong sulong ako. I don't intend to pero you seem to give me the reason to do it. I just don't want to fall for someone again na wala na naman patutunguhan. I am really scared to get hurt again but with you I just knew I am willing to open my heart for you. Kung alam mo lang, gusto na kitang halikan para tapos na no! No more mind games! Ayun na nga e, I am starting to show how I feel (subtle lang kasi yun dude, ewan ko kung nahalata mo pero alam ko halata naman!) tapos malalaman ko na may iba. Alam ko kasi na I wasn't the one you were referring to sa isang conversation that i read in your FB page. So what else do you expect me to do? E di back down. In the first place, you being all nice and sweet to me wasn't enough justification na it was me all this time. Sa sobrang ayaw ko lagyan ng kulay ang mga bagay-bagay between us, na-overlook ko ang fact na you being very open and honest to me regarding some personal issues is also a big step for you. Isang malaking katangahan ko daw sabi ng bestfriend ko. But then again, not enough basis. God knows how much I really liked you. I almost fell in love with you, I think. I know you are worth it. You were worthy of my time. Hindi lang talaga meant to happen yung 'tayo'. That's just how it is.
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07 December 2009

vacation trip! :)

29 nov 2009, sun
manila to macau! :)


i will never forget this day and the following days! it's my first international trip! wee. :) i believe this is my uncle's gift to me. haha. and to my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. :)

at dinagdagan pa ng heartbreaking call ni roxanne. :(

ANYWAY. i vowed to myself to enjoy the succeeding days of my trip and deal with it when i get back.

airport:
- while waiting to board, saw some koreans who just arrived here in the Philippines. almost all the couples who arrived were wearing matching shoes or shirts or bags or sweatshirts. it's cute and weird at the same time. yun ata talaga ang uso sa kanila pag couple? haha.
- there was a male crew of the plane (steward ata) who is named ALBERT CONCEPCION. haha. almost similarly named to my dear friend. :)

plane:
- weird: the first song that i heard on the plane radio was SUGAR and ALREADY GONE! my gosh. nananadya?! hahaha.

HELLO MAAACAAAUUU! :)
- upon stepping out of the airport, iba talaga ang air compared here in the Philippines! walang amoy at di masakit sa ilong! hahaha.
- climate is cold, malamang. di rin kasi ako lamigin so tolerable cold siya for me.
- there was this rude woman na kasabay namin dumating and kasabay namin magtour for the next day. hmp. kala mo naman nag-antay ka ng matagal!
- i enjoyed taking stolen pictures of random people. pero medyo mahirap ah. haha.
- oh my gosh, no traffic! i love it! puro one way kasi ang roads and there's a lot of circling or looping roads kasi paikot-ikot ang mga sasakyan, one way e. very nice urban planning! :)
- verrryyy clean country! i love it. haha.
- road and street names and certain names of establishments are written both in portuguese and chinese.
- stayed at Hotel Sintra which is located at the center, city area kumbaga. hehe.
- I LOVED THE NIGHT LIGHTS!!! :) it makes me smile. :)
- buses are smaller compared to the ones we have here in the Philippines. cabs seem the same, only colorful.
- dinner time: may waiter dun sa kinainan namin na hawig ni james yap, only thinner. yung waitress naman na nagasikaso samin is cute! hahaha. di ako tibo ah!
- i thought only the Filipinos are disobedient when it comes to road signs, pati rin pala ang iba sa kanila. haha.
- ikot ikot sa casinos and hotels nearby our hotel.
- i saw two of my dream cars right in front of my very eyes! BENTLEY and LAMBORGHINI! :)
- went inside the Grand Lisboa and saw some interesting cultural and ancient things in their lobby -- gold peacocks, stone sculpture, their central treasure made of jade, more golden things, representation of China carved in ivory (i think that's what it is), crystals (the largest emerald and diamond is also displayed there and owned by the owner of Grand Lisboa and the richest man in Macau, Stanley Ho.)

I MISS YOUUUU! :(


*****

30 nov 2009, mon
macau and taipa! :)


TOUR TIME! :)
- finally, i was able to wear my boots with enough justification! :)
- sinundo pa namin yung mga tourists na galing China pati yung rude lady na yun. haha.
- passed by Macau Polytechnic University.
- passed by a Catholic cemetery (nakalimuan ko name. haha.)
- went to see up close and personal the Ruins of St. Paul's
- bought Macau treats like portuguese egg tart and pork jerky! and i gotta love the free taste! hahaha! and yung mga nagbebenta dun knows simple Filipino words! haha.
- i gotta love the boots of some ladiessss! hahaha! i want! :)
- dumaan kami sa road na ginagamit for Grand Prix kapag may Grand Prix. too bad, we were a week or two late for the Grand Prix. tapos na siya. haha.
- high school students there seem to go to school a little late than us (back when we were students) and they go home later than usual of course.
- went to a arts and crafts store wherein they sell jewelries and pang-display that are made of jade, gold, etc.
- went to the border area between Macau and China! :) it's like being in two countries at one time! :) and yung two colors of the sea is obvious: the brownish part is part of Macau, but the bluish part is part of China (if i remember correctly what Cheryl said. haha.)
- high-rise buildings there are cliche, reminds me of makati and ortigas. haha. i-compare daw ba? haha.
- mainly, Macau is an industrial or commercial city. Taipa (an island which is a part of Macau) is more of their residential area. (according to our tourist guide named Cheryl, if i remember the fact correctly. haha. our tour guide speaks little Tagalog which is cute. haha.)
- Macau is very much alive at night because of their lights but in the morning they are still very much alive because of their houses. Macau people like painting their houses in bright colors. there is an area there where all the houses are pink or shades of pink. these houses are owned by government officials so puro big time mga tao dun. :)
- may slum area din actually pero tago, parang downtown ata siya or medyo far from the central area.
- lunch at Riviera Hotel. buffet is love! :)
- went to see A-Ma Temple
- saw their Lady of Mercy landmark.
- Macau has 34 casinos, may 2 pang tinatayo as of now (The Galaxy ata yung isa, nakita ko yung construction site e. super big, but smaller than The Venetian definitely).
- Macau is an isthmus/peninsula that has half a million population and 23 million tourists.
- went to a Factory Outlet pero wala akong nabili. haha. only tito and my grandparents bought something-something. hehe.
- at night, we crossed the Friendship Bridge going to Taipa then went to CITY OF DREAMS and THE VENETIAN, baby! woohoo. that was the highlight of my Macau trip! i fell in love with that place! :)
- sayang, gusto ko pa naman sumakay ng Gondola! di naman kasi kami nagtanong how much! haha.
- passed by University of Macau. nice. :)
- superrrr bango ng Hard Rock Hotel! i looove.
- dare to self: have a picture with a stranger taken -- DONE! :)
- The Bubble Mall! :)
- dinner at Food Colosseum. had the yummiest burger in my entire life (zest peppercorn burger)! :) at kamukha pa ni Wilbur (nung maayos pa siya. haha.) yung waiter! nakakatawa nga kasi when my uncle asked what i want to eat for dinner, napalakas ako ng sabi ng 'peppercorn!' so napatingin siya sakin then he smiled at me at nabigla ako sa mukha niya. haha. i so want to take a stolen picture kaso pumunta na siya ng kitchen seconds after ko sabihin ang
peppercorn. boo. haha.
- FREE SHUTTLE BUS is love! :) that idea was fabulous! no problem kung late ka na makauwi and you don't have to rely on cabs all the time! :)
- so far, i only spotted 3-4 girls for you my dear bestfriend! haha. kaso di ko napicturan! they were so close to me, masyado namang obvious. haha.


HAY NAKO, I WONDER HOW YOU ARE... :(


*****

01 dec 2009, tues
macau to kowloon! :)


- buffet brunch! :) my gosh, wala nang silbi ang pagwoworkout ko sa bahay! hahaha. oh what the heck. yum yum yum! :)
- rode the ferry from macau to hooongkooong! :) my gosh, i never thought i was seasick! maalon! haha. as i fill up immigration papers, it hit me! minadali ko ang pagsulat, closed my eyes and tried to sleep. i feel like i was in an 'internal-organ-wracking' (whattaterm. haha.) ride! alam mo yung sumasakay ka sa mga bigating rides and it feels like lumulutang at naiiwan ang internal organs mo sa taas. nakakatuwa yung mga Europeans na nakasabay namin, sabi ni tita, they were sleeping kasi and nabibigla sila to the point na napatayo yung isang lolo sa sobrang gulat nya whenever the ferry hits a wave. hahaha!
- climate seems colder here.
- wasn't that impressed. feels like Philippines, only much better. traffic's not that bad pero may traffic. the place is busier than Macau, of course. definitely cleaner at mas mabango than Philippines! hahaha!
- i saw a double deckerrrr! :) i got excited! hahaha! dream ko sumakay dun, too bad i wasn't able to. boo. haha.
- stayed at Harbour Plaza Metropolis. :) the hotel's connected to a mall and a train station.
- haven't rode the train but i think their train's cool. ang daming station! :)
- upon seeing the pool in the hotel, i wanted to swim! (SWIMMM?! yeah! SWIMMM! hahaha!) kaso wala akong swimsuit! haha.
- had dinner at the mall's food court. my gosh, i didn't know that their serving is that BIG! pang-dalawang tao! kagulat! hahaha! buti na lang malakas ako kumain pero i gotta say, every meal time that had passed, unti-unti rin ako sumusuko! hahaha!


*****

02 dec 2009, wed
kowloon to hongkong island! :)


- went to the Avenue of Stars! :)
- went to Jewellery City (a jewelry store owned by Jackie Chan's family). grabe, gusto ko rin ng ganung business! hahaha! di naman panic-buying ang mga tao, marami lang talaga ang bumibili dun. my gosh, the jewelries are amazinggg. haha. kaya my grandparents bought a new set of wedding rings, uncle bought a bracelet, mom bought a watch, lola bought a necklace. :)
- saw Hongkong Polytechnic University. superrr big! :)
- dumaan kami sa Cross-Harbor Tunnel, which is actually an underwater tunnel connecting Kowloon to Hongkong. tapos may isa pa kaming tunnel na dinaanan, under mountain naman siya. cool. haha.
- went to ride a Sampan Ride in Aberdeen to check out the Jumbo Kingdom, the biggest floating seafood restaurant, but we didn't eat there. too pricey. hehe. naaliw ako dun sa mga other boats na parang bahay and mga cruises.
- went up the Victoria's Peak. cooooollllll! :) parang Baguio. haha. only there were high-rise condos (and i mean, HIGH-RISE na masakit sa leeg i-hyperextend sa kakatingala) sa gilid ng bundok, how scary is that?? oh well, wala naman daw earthquake dun (sabi ni tour guide).
- on the way to the peak, passed by South Island School which is the most expensive English school in Hongkong, where the elite students study! there are a lot of schools within the vicinity -- mga pang-French, pang-Singaporean, etc. it was the area of the very elite e, ang kabundukan. ironic huh? haha.
- i enjoyed the view in Victoria's Peak! seeing the Kowloon area on the other side, wee! :)
- went to OCEAN PARKKK! that's the highlight of my HK trip! :) didn't go to HK Disneyland because it would better if i'm with my brothers. :( so anyway, i had so much fun there! ang daming tao nga lang because may mga nag-fifield trip din. so ayun, we rode the cable car going to the other and far side, where the real cool side of the Ocean Park is. it was okay pa nung una but since i have fear of heights, wala pang gitna ng cable car trip, nanginig na
yung tuhod ko at kinakabog akooo! ahahahaha! my gosh, tawang-tawa yung mga kasama ko sakin! hahaha! kapit na kapit ako dun sa matabang pole sa gitna ng car. hahaha! then we had lunch at where else but McDo! wee. hahaha. then we rode the Ferris Wheel. ay naku, ang mga Chinese elderly! di ko kinaya! ang tanda-tanda na naninigit pa! anu baaa. tapos wala pang mga manners, nanunulak or nanghahawi ng mga tao! ay naku! then off we go to the Ocean Theatre to see the Dolphin and Sea Lion show. then we went to Atoll Reef to see different fishes. kaaliw, feels like field trip in elementary. :) at ang mga Chinese elderly ah, di ko na kinaya, ginigitgit ko na sila or binabangga kapag sinisingitan nila ako! haha. i wanted so bad to try The Abyss kaso too bad, di ako nakasakay!!! grr. ang haba ng pila and we haven't had much time left kasi darating na ang sundo namin. boo. hay naku, pagbalik ko ikaw uunahin koooo!
- went back to Kowloon and we ate dinner at some place in Guangdong? i forgot. basta yun na yun. haha.
- we were supposed to head to the Night Market and Ladies' Market kaso after dinner, nakakita si lolo ng luggage store agad so dun na siya bumili. napabili na din si lola ng bag (in fairness may free coin purse kami! hahaha!). tapos lakad-lakad, ayan nakakita ng electronics shop si tito so he bought a videocam. lolo bought radio for himself. then next thing we knew, 11pm na kaya umuwi na kami.


*****

03 dec 2009, thurs
kowloon to manila! :)

- breakfast at McDo. they seem to have a different menu than us, mas masarap sa kanila. haha. and i expected na malaki pa rin ang serving, boo. not! haha.
- ikot sa may Hunghom Station (the nearest train station to us), kala mo naman may iikutan talaga kami dun. wala lang, tinignan lang namin station nila. haha.
- checked out sa hotel.
- while waiting for our shuttle sundo to the airport, ikot sa The Metropolis Mall. wala rin masyadong naikutan kasi parang sarado pa ang karamihan ng stores? haha.
- dahil hindi ako nakapag-swimming, nagpapicture na lang ako sa pool. kaso yung entrance nila, may shower so that's the closest place to the pool i was able to get -- behind the glass. haha.
- then off we go to HKIA. it is surely the biggest airport!
- while waiting to board, ate at Burger King.
- naabutan kami ng Final Call sa plane kasi namili si mama ng pasalubong! hahaha!
- and then Hello Philippines! whew. feels good to be home pero the vacation feels bitin pero nasulit ko naman. abusada? hahaha! THANK YOU TO MY TITO! :) wee. haha.


eto na, i will deal with you. kung meron man...
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A dash of hope & a sprinkle of opportunity: OASIS 2009 Scholarship Program Launch (by Jeff Quina)

2009 is the year of OASIS. A year filled with blessings, challenges, and memories which will never be forgotten. Yet one has to wonder what it really means to be a member of OASIS? Every batch that came before us had its own imprint in our institution and I tried to think, what mark did Oasis make? From my first steps in the gates of UERM until the last, I looked back and asked myself, what will OASIS be remembered for?

Then it hit me, the Oasis scholarship program actually solidifies what we are as members of Oasis. Each of us has always dreamed of achieving excellence. Being an Oasis member though has always emphasized that our striving for excellence cannot simply be for personal glory, but rather for the glory of God and others. This drives us to seek our brothers and sisters, who are all children of God.

Just this past December 4, 2009 we have formally launched our scholarship program granting to two outstanding and bright students namely Ms. Ira Nadine Bustillos of Aeolus 2010, and Ms. Denise Michelle Mulles of Altairs 2011. These two young and competent students truly have what it takes to excel not only in their studies but also in the field of nursing and leadership as well. Highly recommended by the scholarship committee, Ms. Bustillos and Ms. Mulles proved to me why they deserve to be granted the scholarship. During their interview, I asked to describe themselves in one word.

Ira Bustillios: “Independent”
Denise Mulles: “Passionate”

With the Christmas season only a few days away and 2009 coming to an end, the granting of scholarship is the perfect gift to symbolize the season of giving done through sharing our blessings as what Christ did. “Pay it forward”, building dreams, that’s what OASIS and the OASIS 2009 scholarship program is all about. To our two wonderful scholars, we wish you all the best and hope that our help could further propel you in achieving your dreams of excellence.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Here are their stories...

Ira Nadine M. Bustillio (Fourth year student, Aeolus 2010) For Ira, the eldest of four children tragedy struck early. Her parents separated when she was still in grade school and she had a difficult time coping with it. Relying on the income of her father who works as a seaman Ira had a difficult time getting in school since her father left thme. Because her mother earns a very little from her work, it came to a point wherein they had to sell the house they live in and look for another place to stay. In spite of her exemplary intellectual and leadership skills, Ira’s education hung in the balance. With only a few more months before graduation and board exams, things didn’t look well for Ira entering 4th year, 2nd semester. One thing about Ira though is that’s she’s a fighter and a positive thinker. Wanting to graduate and finish her studies as a Nurse, Ira prayed. Lo and behold, her prayers were answered. Ira found a second family in the OASIS community. Thankfully, with the financial support of the OASIS 2009 Scholarship fund, Ira found a way to finish her studies. As her way of expressing her gratitude and sharing her blessings, Ira involves herself in different activities such as being a member of the Nursing Student Council as the NSC Auditor, a member of the Nursing Ensemble, and constantly helps in voluntary work whether in school or in her community.

Denise Michelle S. Mulles (Third year student, Altairs 2011) Denise’s family depended on the meager income his father earned from a small-scale computer shop. With her mother not working because she wasn’t able to finish college, the family’s financial struggle continues up to now. Being the eldest in her family, Denise vowed to excel in everything she did and do it with passion. She got a 99% in the National Career Achievement Exam and finished her high school with honors. Upon entering college, it was Denise’s dream to be an IT computer programmer. However this dream never became a reality since her relatives were the ones who would pay for her tuition and they wanted Denise to study nursing. Before enrolling in the course, she knew she would have a difficult time coping since she’s not comfortable seeing blood and sick people. Rather than being disheartened by the situation, Denise took it as a challenge since she wanted what’s best for her family. In her first 2 years in UERM, Denise was a Dean’s Lister and excelled academically obtaining high grades. Although help from relatives were coming in, Denise’s family knew that expenses for education were still too big to sustain, especially since Denise and her siblings are all still of school age. Believing in her tremendous potential, the scholarship committee recommended her as a candidate for the OASIS 2009 Scholarship Program. Today, she is thankful to the scholarship committee who believed in and dreamed with her, and the OASIS community who will help continuously nurture in her the heart of serving and giving.

Through the generosity of each member of OASIS 2009, these two young students will continue to be formed in the UERM tradition of excellence and service. We hope that you continue to participate in the OASIS 2009 Scholarship Program. INVEST in the FUTURE of a scholar and make a difference!

our two scholars filling up the forms
Ex Officio Chair and Batch President Martin Capucion
Chairman Jeff Quina interviewing Ms. Ira Bustillos from Aeolus 2010
Congratulations Ira!
Jeff Quina interviewing Ms. Denise Mulles from Altairs 2011
Congratulations Denise!
Picture Picture : )

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17 October 2009

i am hugely annoyed at you, by you. HUGE.

Why can't you get the message? Nararamdaman mo na pala na parang ayaw kita kausapin e bakit tawag ka pa rin ng tawag? Ano ba? Nakakaasar na kasi marinig ang boses mo, I'm sorry but that's just how I feel. Nakakaasar yung pagka-masaya at pagka-mayabang ng boses mo, palibhasa nakuha mo na ang gusto mo which I think hindi mo naman dapat makuha. I so want to be honest with you and tell you to just quit calling me but I can't. Ano ang sasabihin ko na reason? Yung tungkol sa friend ko? Yes, this is about my friend and you being... Ay naku! Nakakainis ka lang talaga! I know, out ako sa issue na yun, it's about the two of you so there's no point of opening it up again and opening it up to you. Besides, I know you will never listen. I don't know what happened after that super last conversation we had about her, I have no idea what happened next between the two of you. It's not my business. It's not my issue. I had done my part as her friend. I became super honest with her that I reached the point of telling her things that I shouldn't had in the first place because I was not in the position to tell her those things. Pero pag hinintay pa kita na sabihin yun, namuti na ang uwak at nailagay na ako sa kabaong e wala ka pa ring sasabihin. Sarap mo lang saktan talaga. And you know what's worse? The final say is all up to her. And i hated it. I hated her final decision. She does not deserve to be in that kind of relationship and you do not deserve her, not at all. But what can I do? It's her life. I am just her friend. I just have to be there for her when you break her heart and lie to her face again. Mahal ka niya talaga e, nakakaasar lang kasi you seem to take advantage of it. Hay nakuuuu! You know what, eto na lang. Please, please do your part as a man. Be man enough for her. Utang na loob lang, pare please. And please stop bothering me kasi frankly naiinis pa rin talaga ako sayo. Sorry but I get the feeling na binibilog mo na naman ulo niya. And sorry pero gusto ko kayo talaga maghiwalay. Or sige, kahit to even start from scratch na lang, yung tipong paghihirapan mo yung kaibigan ko. Baka sabihin mo hindi ako naniniwala sa chance (Pero hello, you had that chance almost everytime and you keep on screwing it! tssss). Kaasar lang kasi kayo pa rin at tatanga-tanga ang kaibigan ko. But of course, sino ba naman ako para magsalita? (Baka kapag ako rin ang nasa situation, I may do the same thing my friend did. AY NAKU, WAG NAMAN PO!) I know hindi naman ako dapat makialam but you messing with my friend's feelings, that's what makes it somewhat my business! Nagpipigil lang ako so don't make me lie to you again and just don't talk to me! One more call, ay naku, tatapatin na talaga kita. Kaasar.

At alam mo ang isang pang dahilan kung bakit ayaw din kita kausapin? Naaalibadbaran ako kapag kinukwestyon mo ang pagiging bum ko! Don't talk to me as if I am not doing anything for my future career and stop taking as if you know everything! I may seem like not doing anything at all but I am doing something! HIndi lang kasi siya kasindali at kasimbilis ng iniisip mo! You don't know exactly how my life works but I do. It's my life anyway so I will do things in my own way, in my own time, in my own pace and by my own rules. I know how to manage my life. I will ask for your opinion if I have to but for the meantime, just shut the hell up! And saan ka ba nakatira at parang hindi ka aware na mahirap maghanap ng trabaho? Gahd, just stop talking to me because you are not helping at all!

Eto pa ang isa, stop pushing me to do things! Stop pushing me to do things that I am even unsure of! Are you what, my mother?! You even forgot how to be a friend to me and now you are trying to be my mother?! I know you just care but I do not need to hear these things from you over and over and over and over and over again! At this point where I am confused and trying to figure out what I really want, it's the least that I need to hear from you. It's getting insulting already and it seems like you are not listening to me at all! You are not listening to what I am trying to say and explain! Parang kinokontra mo pa kung ano gusto kong gawin! Hindi ka nakakainspire at nakakamotivate! A friend listens, advices, supports. Hindi yung parang pinangungunahan ako. Dinaig mo pa nanay ko! My mom isn't close to the level of what you are doing to me. Don't say things as if they are just super easy to deal with. Don't say things as if we were still in high school, that everything seems light and easy at napakadaling mangarap at abutin ang pangarap. Because in reality, it isn't easy. It will never be easy especially when I am too confused with what I want! And do not put me in that spot wherein parang akala mo na ang gusto ko noon ay gusto ko pa rin ngayon! See, hindi ka kasi nakikinig sa mga sinasabi ko! Tapos parang disappointed ka pa sa akin, sino ka ba? Magulang kita? At kahit magulang kita, I know I will not disappoint you because I know may mararating ako.Wag mo lang ako madaliin because I can prove it straight to your face that I can be, will be, and am somebody. I may prefer working first before studying again, I may prefer Master's degree over Bachelor's degree in Medicine, I may prefer fashion school over med school, I may prefer being a nurse anesthesist over being a medical doctor but whatever choice I make will not make me less of a person. I clearly didn't have poor options to begin with. I am not like you, I am not much of a risk-taker because I sure am thinking of every step that I am doing when it comes to my life. I get it, you may see some potential in me pero ayokong pinagdidiinan sakin yun ng ganun-ganun lang then expect na magpapadala ako sa mga sinasabi mo. Let me find that potential and realize it on my own kung totoo nga yang sinasabi mo. And why can't you just support me with what I really want?

And before I end this hateful entry, last hirit pa. Stop demeaning my chosen course or career path by bragging yours. It doesn't make yours superior over mine. It will never be. No other career will be superior over mine kasi pare-pareho lang lahat yan. Depende na lang kung nasaan talaga ang puso mo.


Okay, enough. I'm gonna keep my mouth shut. You should too, try it. HAHAHA. Oh well, hindi naman kita masisisi kung napaka-insensitive at napaka-offending mo. Well, gagawin kitang sensitive! I mean it, one more call, lagot ka na talaga sakin. haha.
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16 October 2009

you, him and glee.

YOU.

Two days ago, you called me. I was surprised. With all your BS, i never thought you would ever have the guts to call me again. But you did. Upon seeing your name on my phone when you called, I did not want to answer your call. For the reason of suspicion from my dad, I accepted the call because my dad noticed that it was a phone call and not a text message (What would he think if I rejected the call right?). I did not want to speak to you. Not at all, because frankly, we have nothing to talk about and I got nothing to say to you, mister. Hearing your voice, irritated me, I'm sorry (That sorry was for being rude, not for me being irritated and annoyed at you). I felt guilty for feeling that but I am not apologetic about it. I still think you are a one big piece of shit that deserve nothing of my time unless you get your act straightened out.

HIM.

I had been meaning to share my thoughts about this since that day but I was super pissed at him that I reached the point of not really wanting to talk about it, reached the point of me disliking him. And reached the point that I confessed (Oh yeah, that CONFESSION. Just a little bit of that. I'm sorry that I even liked you way back... That kind of crap. Oh gosh.) But since it has been over since what, 2 weeks? I'll dish up what happened in my rational and 'un-annoyed' state.

To cut the story short, things were blown out of proportion with him misunderstanding me, what I said and what happened that led to us exchanging 'not-so-nice' words. No vulgarities, just offending terms from him and hateful way of explanations from me. I believe I was more mad and argumentative (Ako pa, di ako magpapatalo! Lalo na kung alam ko na tama ako at wala akong ginagawang mali.) than him because he went out of the line. But since that day, I no longer want him. With that attitude, HELL TO THE NO. Even if I like him that much, I wouldn't allow him to step on me or say things to me just like that. NO. He has no right to talk to me like that. He will never be in the position to say to me things like that. He wasn't actually supposed to talk to me like that but he was narrow-minded, what can I do? I reached the point that I don't want to talk to him and I don't care if we won't be able to talk again. In a snap, the 'residual' feelings that I have for him was gone in a snap. I hated him. He said sorry and apologized but I know it was only for the 'offending' statement, not for the fact that we are actually arguing about it when frankly, we shouldn't have to in the first place. if it wasn't for his narrow mind...

Then few days after that incident, I saw him over YM. I wasn't mad or irritated at him at that point. I just didn't care. With me laying 'it' out there and him hearing and experiencing my argumentative side, I believe he hated me too. I made him shut up? (Haha) Men hate women who argue and are good in arguments (Well, sorry. I don't back down easily especially when you are hitting me below the belt). So I tried to talk to him over YM. I just wanted to know if we were okay or if he was cursing me behind my back (Haha). He replied. Had a small 'civil' conversation, not the way we usually, oops strike that, not the way we USED TO talk. I don't know if he was faking it or if he still hated me or he doesn't want to talk to me. I really didn't mind but we're okay. I think.

Then I heard he was graduating already so I texted him last night to extend my congratulatory remarks. To my surprise, I got a text message from him this early morning. I thought he wouldn't reply. It was a cold thank you message. So yeah, maybe we are okay. We will just never be back to how we were.

I thought only my feelings for you was murdered that led to its death, I guess our friendship also had the same luck.
:( Oh well.

GLEE

I had been religiously watching the show Glee and it had me wondering, WHERE WAS I WHEN GOD SHOWERED THE TALENT IN SINGING ?! Hahaha.

But it had me thinking of enrolling for voice lessons. I DO NOT INTEND TO BE A GREAT SINGER, I just want to have a voice for singing that is pleasant to the ears. Hahaha.
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and here we go again.

- An excerpt from Chris Tiu's blog -

I was kinda nervous that morning before the game because I knew that UE was a tough team that plays with a lot of energy and emotion. Anything could have happened! Once UE gets their rhythm going, they're very very difficult to contain.


I had been meaning to blog about this as soon as I had read this last week, I just wasn't able to. Took me 8 days pa. Haha.

Coming from the red tribe, this was another disappointment and heartbreak. We were wishing and hoping and praying (na kulang pa rin, obviously) to defy another expectation. Rather, we faced another disappointment and added another year to the drought. :( Yes, it is truly a question of who wants the crown more. and Unfortunately, Ateneo want it more and eventually got it...



My friends, Reg ang Gu, went in line to buy tickets early that 8th of October. Reg at around 6.30, Gu at around 8. They were actually among the first few in line. I arrived by 10.30. Sumingit ng pasimple sa pila nila. Tickets were sold to us by 12.30? Gahd. Solo pa ang bentahan! Hurried lunch. Was about to get inside when we found out THERE WAS ANOTHER LINE! WTH? Pinapasok kami by 2pm. Our legs are hurting so bad already! Dinaig pa ang pagpila ko sa prc and dfa. Hahaha. Then when we got inside, we got good seats and waited for two more hours! Gosh.

All that struggle and hassle to see our team lose in our very eyes AGAIN! For the third effin time! HAHAHA! Oh well, WHAT'S NEW?! we are the heartbreak kids right? It just needs some gettin used to. Well, we are used to that trend na pala. Pero okay na rin. no one actually expected and predicted for our team to be in the finals, anyway. This will be the last time we'll watch live! NEVER AGAIN. Hahaha. Oh well, until next season again? Oh hope, don't fail us again! haha.

CONGRATULATIONS to the ATENEO BLUE EAGLES! :)


And after the yet-another-painful-loss, my friends and I headed to Tomas Morato to celebrate, NOT THE LOSS, BUT MY 21ST BIRTHDAY (Yeah, like a month after pa diba?! Hahaha.). This was supposed to happen a day before Ondoy hit our country. It's a good thing we postponed it na rin...


MORE PICTURES AT MY MULTIPLY. (viewable only by my contacts though, sorry.)
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07 October 2009

oh men, men, men. and the BS that comes with them.

It isn't easy. Nobody said it is, in the first place. You have to make a choice. Stop playing safe because, newsflash sir, it sucks. It sucks for you and for the people around you. Stop being a stuck-up and decide on your own because you have to make a choice here. There will always be two sides and life is about making choices. MAKE A CHOICE THEN DEAL WITH IT. demmet.

it is true (a cliche, actually) that men, at some point or thought or action and somehow, are the same and they only come in different packages. some with big ego. some with more decency and politeness. some with full of crap. some with more intimate imprint. IT'S AN ENDLESS VARIETY.


but you know what, i thought that you were somehow different than them. that you were more 'level-upped'. but boy, i was wrong. you were exactly like the low and pathetic type of your kind! you have no balls to match your manhood. you have no guts. you don't have the courage to stand up for your own decisions. you don't even know how to decide actually! from what i see, you decide solely on your aggression, on your impulse, which for a man like you is totally immature and irresponsible. love isn't a game that you decide solely on impulse or what you feel like doing. it shouldn't even be based on strategies. this isn't love surprises or gifts that we are talking about, it's her feelings, damn you! you chose to be safe and to stay safe. what the hell was that?! you didn't even chose her or to be with her, she chose to be with you and that's why you are sticking with her. it's not even hers to decide upon, it's up to you because you are the guy! by now, you know very well how she feels about you but how about you, do you really know how you feel about her? oh darn, i don't even want to look at you, you pathetic scumbag! i mean what i said to you last night. one more fucked up thought, i will never dare think twice about landing my hand straight to your cheek. i trusted you to take care of my friend because i thought, I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GOOD MAN. and obviously, you weren't.
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06 October 2009

wow. hahaha.

  1. nabangga yung sinakyan ko nung umaga;
  2. nasira yung flats ko habang naglalakad;
  3. naubusan kami ng uaap tickets;
  4. hindi pala mag-cclinic doctor ko today.

WHAT A DAY! nag-aksaya lang ako ng pamasahe. tutal, nag-aksaya na rin naman ako, itodo na. SHOPPING! woohoo! ;p
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28 September 2009

typhoon ONDOY. :(

Let's all pray for each other's safety. I am really hoping that everyone is somehow fine despite this tragedy that struck our country, especially to my friends who live in pasig, antipolo, marikina and rizal...


26.sept.2009.

what our country experienced that day was both a wake-up call and a humbling experience. it was a wake-up call that we really have to take care of our country, to take care of what is left of our already damaged environment, to take responsibility and be active, na at the end of it all, all we have is our family and each other.

it was a humbling experience because of the natural compassion and care that we, Filipinos, have for each other just bursted out at its finest in the middle of this tragedy, na lahat ng tao pantay-pantay sa ganitong sitwasyon.

too bad, we needed a tragedy just to stress it to us, straight to our faces.

and pasensya na, pero i loathe the people na masyadong paimportante kung makahingi ng tulong sa media and all. di lang kayo ang tao okay?! don't act as if kailangan kayo unahin. oo, kelangan kayo i-rescue and i-evacuate but we lack manpower and resources and there's this thing called 'prioritization of needs'. let's all calm down and pray and let the authorities do their job. after all, there's nothing much we can do but to wait until you get evacuated and have your needs attended. and to the authorities, i commend your effort and sacrifice pero sana bilis-bilisan din natin ang pagkilos. these people can't wait forever...

at di porket artista ka o pulitiko o kung sino ka mang pontio pilato ka e kelangan kang unahin! at sa mga pulitikong makakapal ang mukha, kalat na kalat sa twitter at fb mga kabalahuran nyo! kilala nyo na kung sino kayo! mga hayop.


tapos kanina, my bestfriend pm-ed me over fb the experience he and his family had. ay jusko. i hope you're doing fine and feeling better, dear...


*****



heard about this yesterday and i can't even imagine how my alma mater looks like.

and upon opening my fb, it shocked my eyes and saddened my heart.

this was where i went to college, studied my ass of to graduate and to pass my licensure exam, had my duties and served my patients. and look at it now. it is now a disaster! tragic. and what's worse? the patients in the hospital affected by the storm.

i really do wish i can go to the medical mission that my batchmates planned but too bad, roads in manila that i have to pass through are still flooded. :(

let's all pray for everyone's safety. lalo na sa mga friends ko who are living in marikina, antipolo, rizal and pasig. MAGPARAMDAM KAYO. i really do hope you guys are safe...


*****

UERM people!! batchmates and friends, Tatalon QC Medical Mission update: VENUE: PUREGOLD LOCATED AT ARANETA CORNER E.RODRIGUEZ., NEAR QUEZON INSTITUTE TIME: 8AM WHAT TO BRING (DONATIONS): USED CLOTHES, BISCUITS, EASY TO OPEN CANNED GOODS, WATER, NOODLES ATTIRE: BATCH SHIRT, ANYTHING GOES FOR THE PANTS AND SHOES.. AS LONG AS YOU CAN WORK IN THEM. bring change of clothes..everyone can help...

Things to bring: packed lunch and water (for your own consumption), cash donations, clothing, blankets, towels, underwear, ready-to-eat food like bread, candles, matches, plastic bags to segregate the supplies, soap, basic meds, etc...
NOTE: for STUDENTS who would want to participate, bring with you a consent from your parents/guardian with their contact details.
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the win over feu. :)

now who would have thought???

i know that people bet their money and ass on the tamaraws. after all, pre-season pa lang a lot already predicted that it's gonna be the eagles and tamaraws who will face each other on the finals. and it was shown and proven on both team's performance and standing, no doubt about it.

actually, i had the gut feeling that we will win but i don't want to be carried away by that gut feeling because i know how good the tams are and i don't want to go home super sad and frustrated, just in case.

but then, our only main goal was to watch and enjoy. whatever the results are, school spirit is still of utmost importance. (surprisingly, with the crowd attendance, we overpowered them. totally.) plus we missed watching live! haha.

never kami nakalamang sa kanila. well, once ata during the first half i think? natambakan pa kami ng 12. and the final minutes are just heartstopping. haha.

thank God we won! hahaha! God heard us.

"Lord, di na nga kami nag-top nung NLE. bigay nyo na samin to."

and i know this isn't over. it just started. and we're ready to play, win or lose. but for what it's worth, i know my team gave their best and did what they could to give pride to the school. winning that final game, we knew God gave us more than what we asked for but we won't turn our backs just in case He wants to give us more again. *wink*
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07 September 2009

tomorrow is ME-time. :)

someone's turning a year older tomorrow!

and that's ME! (who else?! haha.)

since my birthday plans are delayed intentionally, i had been thinking of what i am going to do on the exact day of my birhtday. since, i am not going out with my friends or family yet, i figured that it's the perfect time for ME-time. well, it's not that i haven't done enough ME-time since the day my board exams were finished. i had been idle and less productive since that day actually. hahaha! well, i only have few things in my mind for my ME-time.

  1. go to church. (gosh, it will be my first time to go alone.)
  2. buy something to eat that are rich in calories: chocolate cake, pasta, chips, pizza, whatever my mood tells me to eat tomorrow.
  3. watch unwatched DVD's. (trust me, there are tons. so feeling di ko sila matatapos. hahaha. maybe i should narrow down my choices sa mga talagang nag-hit na movies.)
  4. less internet time tomorrow. haha. (define LESS girl! hahaha.)
  5. send thank you texts at the end of the day (so feeling talaga na marami ang babati through text?! hahaha.)
  6. get a massage. (oh well, strike that, it's better to go to a spa with someone!)
  7. fix my things? (why did i even thought about it? on the day of my birthday? you gotta be kidding me. hahaha! okay, strike that. i change my mind.)
  8. reflect. think.
  9. plan the day after? (wahahaha! after my birthday, i'm back to business again -- finalize my birthday plans, IV training, ECG training, beach party, hangout with friends, and all other sensible or senseless stuff that bums like me are busy on. hahaha!)
  10. continue reading the book that i am currently reading. :)
  11. shop. (i don't want to specify what will i shop for because my list is just endless. hahaha! but i might not be able to do it tomorrow, kulang pa pera ko. haha.)
  12. get myself registered perhaps? kahit ayoko (let's leave the reason why in another blog. haha.) pero sinasampal na ako ng mga sermon ng mga tao na kelangan ko kumuha. haha.
  13. AT KUNG ANO PA MAISIP KO NA GAWIN BUKAS. haha.
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04 September 2009

the super delayed birthday surprise

27 august 2009


- nakakastress ang araw na to ha! hahaha. went to sss and nbi in the morning. lunch with friends at sm san lazaro.
- heaven dropped by when we were having lunch. kala niya dala ko na regalo. tsk.
- left together then separated ways. he went back to his dorm. i went back to the apartment to gather the gifts.
- MINADALI NIYA AKO NG BONGGA AH. sorry, slow poke talaga ako. haha. never early sa mga ganyan. haha. tapos ang hirap pala magdala ng flowers at cake at malaking card all at the same time! pano na lang kaya yung mga lalaking walang kahit konting poise sa pagdadala ng mga ganyan?! haha.
- na-wrong send pa ako sa kanya kung kelan mejo malapit na ako sa kanila!
- minsan na akong naligaw papunta sa kanila, akala by this time matatandaan ko na. BUT NO! boy, i was wrong. SUPER LUMAGPAS AKO! tapos tinetext na niya ako kung nasaan na daw ako at balak pa ako sunduin, HELL NO! masisira plano namin ni ken! so kay ken ako nagpasundo syempre. WAHAHAHA!
- tense na tense ako sa kastressan, dagdagan mo pa ng mapapanood niya once we reach his place.
- pati pagkatok sa pinto nila, pinag-debatehan pa namin ni ken. eventually, ako rin ang kumatok.
- at ayan na, pagpasok ko, pinawisan na ako ng malamig. IT'S SHOWTIME, dayyymmm. hahaha!

then, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. haha. seeing your reaction was definitely worth it, dude. hahaha!

kahit binitin mo kami ni ken. malay ko ba naman kasi na... TRALALALALA! yan kasi, di nagsasabi agad! buti na lang friends na kami ni ken. DIBA KEN?! super friends tayo?! wahahahaha! thanks for the company that day. :)
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24 August 2009

...


--> -->says it's over. i know in my heart it is. i might have said this before but can anyone blame and kill me if i tell you now i sort of lied because i was unsure? i've reached the point of acceptance and i know where my right place is. that's what i needed ever since. for once, my heart and mind said the same thing. am i happy? yes. but deep down? no, i'm not. but i'm letting go. :)
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23 August 2009

Nurses Oathtaking 2009

19 august 2009


so yun na lang pala yun. it just ended there and also begins there.

- used (more like overused) my new 'baby'. :)
- buzzer beater lang kami ng mom ko. pano nag-effort talaga ako magpaganda! tapos nasa kanto na kami when i remembered that i forgot my camera battery sa bahay kaya i went back home pa ulit.
- nagkahiwa-hiwalay na kami as usual. too bad, we're kinda late na para umupo in the middle where most of my batchmates were seated.
- there were TONS of people, my gosh. ANG INIT!
- saw a lot of high school batchmates. :)
- pwede ba namang mawala ang okrayan namin nina mara and pits?!?! unstoppable. hahaha! *kala mo kung sino e no?!*
- sang the national anthem twice. FUNNY.
- may PRC hymn pala?! haha.
- STAR kami that morning. UERM people. especially our dean. hahaha! SAYAAAA. haha. sana lang talaga masaya na siya at sila. enough frustrations already, please. nakapag-oath na o.
- picture galore with batchmates. :) love love. :)

PERO BITTER PA RIN AKO.

HEAVEN, DI TAYO NAGKITA! mom and i waited for you for 30 minutes or so kahit superrr init na. hahaha. she thought may bibigay ako sayo but when she found out that we were supposed to have our picture in uniform lang pala, she laughed at me. hahaha! sorry, nagkasalisihan kasi tayo... sad ako, ang dami ko na nakita. sayo lang ako sablay. tsk. oh well, next time na lang... hopefully sabay tayo makuha for training. wee. :)
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17 August 2009

move your ass, girl. REALLY.

lately, i had been thinking, what do i want to do?

i'm not pertaining to my grand vacation plans or catching up with my friends. i mean, REALLY. WHAT DO I REALLY WANT TO DO?

last saturday, i attended a sort of 'preview seminar' of a network business. it wasn't my thing. it's just that i misinterpreted what dae, the one who invited me to come and see this thing, told me over the phone that's why i attended... business talking aside, it made my thinking bulb light up. basically that 'seminar' talked about the business itself and how it can help one to reach their goals and dreams with the help of the money that you will about to earn.

it's not the money that made me really think but it's my goals and dreams. the goals and dreams that i made myself. the goals and dreams na dapat simulan ko na talaga, now that i have graduated already. the goals and dreams ko na ayan na o, i am one step up already, i have to get going to step two already! i have adequate dreams and goals for myself and for my family as well. kaya if i want to reach them all in the timeframe that i alloted for myself, i should get going and MOVE MY ASS BIG TIME!

but here's the thing, i am confused with what i really want to do with my life. i don't know where to start! before, i was super excited to get over this academic life and graduate. now that i graduated, took the boards and passed, I AM OVERWHELMED. sa dami ng gusto ko at kailangan gawin, i don't really know where to start. i don't even know what to do next after all of these! and now, i have to figure out that first as well!

gosh, eto ang epekto sa akin pag nababakante ang utak ko. it's either i have nothing else to think because i don't want to think or i have too much to think naman all at the same time! hay nakooo.
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10 August 2009

sapul.

i shouldn't care,right?in as much as i want you to set the deal,i don't have the right.but don't let me make you.i want to get away,but everytime you do that,you ignite my hope.i don't want to stay kung ganito lang din naman.what else do you want from me? i WAS willing to give my heart for you but now,i will not wait for you to be REALLY mine. don't take me for granted at wag mo naman ako pahirapan...

alam mo, kasalanan mo rin yan! hahaha. di ka mahihirapan if you choose not to... tsktsk.! wala. nanginis lang!


aray ah. sana man lang kung sasampalin mo ko, warningan mo naman ako para may option ako umilag. sapul e. and now that i'm the one who's stubborn, aasarin mo ko? can't you just support me? and for the record, i am not in pain. mahirap lang kasi it's all confusing or whatever. BASTA i can handle myself, okay? thanks for the reminder. don't worry, i won't bug you with my own shit.


i never said that you can't come to me. naku jana! i was just saying that don't let these kind of things cloud your better judgment. you're better than this or than him. it is confusing, but you'd only be more confused if you let yourself be caught by his bait. think about it. you react like this, when you can just walk away. you might be able to catch him off guard, but in the end, who really is having the harder time...

e kasi naman, hindi ko na nga maintindihan sarili ko tapos sinabihan mo pa ko ng ganyan! now i know how it feels pag pinaprangka kita. but i know you were just talking sense to me and i was stupidly defending my own actions. do you think it hasn't occurred to me that i was making myself a fool? i know i am better than this. alam ko naman na pinaiikot lang niya ko e. i so want to walk away, i just don't know how exactly. heaven, give me time please? let him hit me harder yun lang ang hihingin ko sayo. then you can lecture me later, please?

fine. ill let you figure it out on your own. yun din naman ang best way eh. im just here my friend...

napilitan ka? haha. napaiyak mo ko dun sa sinabi mo ah, bwisit ka. haha. but thank you. for letting me do this on my own. whatever happens, i'll come out just fine, i assure you that. and thanks ulit kasi i know you hate me being in this state but i trust and appreciate you for having my back when he finally and forever turn his back (or whoever) on me. and i know you know how occasionally weak i am inside, so will you be hard on me again when you have to? and kahit naman hindi mo sabihin, i know you will always be there. so thank you.




so that was my conversation with my bestfriend over facebook.

you don't have to call me stupid because i know i am. so why i am still doing this? why am i still here and seem to insist myself on him?

yes, i said that i will lose the hope in my own system. it was easy because i wasn't in love with him. YET. but everytime he appears and says these things to me, i can't help to somehow wish he really means what he said... blame me for being hopeless romantic. by now, i think or i know that he is somehow playing with my feelings. i know naman na may iba e, so why the hell is he doing this to me??

keith once asked me, 'marie, di ko naman sa sinasabi ko na totoo to, pero what if, what if pang-back up ka lang pala niya?'

ayoko mang isipin na pang-back up lang ako dahil nakakainsulto but keith raised a good point. 2 lang yan, it's either he really means what he said to me or tinutulak lang niya ako sa sarili niyang patibong.

my bestfriend's right, i can just walk away but part of me wants to stay. i want to walk away because i know i do not deserve to be treated this way. i had been nice to him. until now. when i can just really ignore him. given that what keith speculated was true at seryoso talaga siya dun sa girl, ang sakit lang... hindi ako file na gagawin mong back-up. hindi ako bagay that you can play with. don't mess with my feelings!

but i want to stay because i hope that one day he'll notice me and stop taking me for granted. i want to stay because i want to know why. i know there is a reason why he did and is doing this to me. whatever the real reason is, pinaglalaruan man niya ako or he really means what he said, i want to know it. masakit man o ikakatuwa ko. i am pissed and confused at the same time and i am near the verge of confronting him to set the deal. i want to deal with this on my own and as soon as possible nang matapos na tong mga unanswered questions because that's the only thing that makes me stay rooted in this crazy situation.

malapit na ata kita maging mahal. i wouldn't be like this if this is just a pathetic crush. and i guess i really have to expect the unexpected now huh? this will either be a disaster bound to happen or a beginning of a new love story...


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