Year 2009 is one of the best years of my life.
I met new people and gained new friends.
I finally finished my studies, earned my degree and passed my licensure exam.
I fell in love again.
My family and friends are still there, complete and alive.
It was such a happy and fulfilling year.
But it wasn't an all-year happiness.
I lost both my grandmother and grandfather.
I broke my heart.
I don't know if I lost a friend.
I messed up at some point.
Crisis struck our country.
Now that 2009 is about to end, I don't know with other people, but there comes a point where I look back and see how my year was, if I did something terrible or meaningful, if there are memories that I have to keep or just throw away, if there are people that I want to stay or just forget.
Let's start with the things that I did.
I know I am not a good girl and I know I am not a super bad girl either. I may not be good the entire year but I know I did something good in my own little way. I helped, I made someone smile or laugh, I prayed for someone, etcetera. Yeah, it may not be something to brag about but those were sincere acts. And oh. Let's not forget the mean things that I did, both intentional and unintentional. Oo na, minsan kasi masarap maging masama. Hahaha. Hindi ko na babanggitin yung mga yun, yung mga kasama ko gumawa nun, ALAM NA NATIN YUN! To all those whom I hurt intentionally and unintentionally, who were affected by my bitchy remarks, at mga kung anu-ano pa, I am deeply sorry. I know hindi excuse yung kasarapan maging masama or me being out of control or way out of the line sometimes or me losing my temper, or me just being plainly mean. Kaya ayun, sorry.
Now let's go to the memories.
When it comes to memories, of course, keep the happy and memorable and forget the sad and shitty! Duh? Hahaha.
Now let's go to my favorite part and the real purpose of creating this entry. I gotta thank the people that I love and never left me behind! Amidst the low points in this year for me, I have lots of reasons to be thankful for and I have a few people to thank to. Kaya let's hit it! :)
GOD
Thanking God will never be overrated kaya Siya talaga at Siya dapat ang una sa aking list. :) With all the blessings He bestowed upon me and my family and my friends as well and with all the things that happened in this year, be it good or bad, i owe it to Him. Thank you God! I love you! :)
FAMILY
These are the people that no matter what they do, they can't get rid of me. Wahahaha! No, but seriously, thank you for believing in me even though sometimes I fail to believe in myself, for supporting me in everything that I do, for loving me unconditionally, for taking care of me, for being there when I need you or kahit hindi, for giving me everything that I need, for helping me in my career, for being proud of me, for plainly everything. This goes out most especially to my mom, my uncle and my aunt. :)
FRIENDS
I have lots of friends pero this year, sila talaga yung mga tumatak sakin.
BOBBIE-JOANNE-JOLO-LEE-LIANA-VINCI
You guys never left me after all these years! Pinaghiwalay man tayo ng college life, lalo man tayong pinagago ng college life but I know and proven na isang tawag ko lang sa inyo or isang post sa Wall sa facebook, to the rescue na kayo sakin. Thank you kasi if there are things that I can't say to my family, sa inyo ko nasasabi and you guys listen to me no matter how lame or how pathetic my problem is. Tapos sabay paiiyakin nyo ko at pagtatawanan. Hahaha! Thank you din guys for supporting me with whatever I do and for taking care of me. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for sticking with me kahit may kasamaan ang ugali ko. Wahahaha! Thank you for sharing such wonderful memories and years with me. Thank you for the best friendship. Thank you for the trust, for the love, for everything. Alam nyo rin naman na I'm always here for you diba? Willing na willing nga ako umupak para sa inyo e. Hahaha! Hay naku, mahal ko talaga kayo ng super superrr! You are the siblings that I never had but was given to me in form of friends. Madami na tayo napagdaanan and sana by 2010, mas lalo pa tayo maging strong! At gusto ko hanggang sa magkaanak ako, magfafamily gatherings tayo ha? Ang cheesy ko no? OO NA! SORRY NAMAN! Hahaha! Hugggg.
SCCT
Maraming may hindi alam pero sila talaga ang barkada ko nung high school. Alam ko na after we graduated, we rarely see each other, as in super rare talaga, but I know na we can always rely on each other for whatever. Thank you guys kasi nandyan pa rin kayo for me and alam nyo naman na I'm always here for you din. Kahit naman matagal tayong hindi nagkikita, our bond is still the same, like we were never separated. Actually since second year tayo, nagkahiwa-hiwalay na tayo kasi magkakaiba na tayo ng section. So parang class lang yan, hiwa-hiwalay for hours pero pag lunch break, it's another session of girls gone wild! hahaha! Thank you kasi dahil sa inyo e sumama ang ugali ko. Wahahaha! Joke lang! Thank you for the years and memories we shared. Thank you for the friendship, for the love and for the trust. Miss ko na kayo mga bitch! hahaha! Magkita na kasi tayooo! Love you much! :) Hugggg.
ABI-BOGS-CHAM-CLARE-FRANNIE-GEN-HEKI-JUYJUY-KAT-KAYCEE-KEITH-KRINI-LEANE-MARA-MIKA-PIA-PITS-SAB-SIS-SISSY
ANG DAMI NYO! Hahaha.
Sa lahat ng groupmates and friends ko.
Sa lahat ng nakasama ko sa Management and eventually naging friends ko.
Sa barkada ko.
Sa inyong lahat.
Thank youuuuu!
My college life won't be the same without you people! Sa mga kasama ko magtago sa mga CI, sa mga kasama kong nandaya ng NCP at Gordon's at Documentation, sa mga kasama ko pumila sa PRC, sa mga roommates ko nung review, sa mga kasama ko
sa duty and class, sa mga nagtiis sa kasamaan ng ugali ko at paminsan-minsan na katangahan at kasabawan, sa mga kasama ko sa okrayan, sa pakikinig sa mga kwento kong walang katapusan, sa mga nakasama ko ma-stress, sa mga kasama ko kumain ng streetfoods, sa mga kasama ko sa kalokohan, at sa kung anu-ano pa. Thank you for all the memories! I am very grateful to have met you guys. Sobra. Thank you for being there for me, for pushing me beyond my limits, for the encouragement and motivation, for helping me. Hindi rin naman ako makakagraduate at makakapasa ng boards if it wasn't for our help. Kahit hindi na tayo nagkakausap masyado ngayon pero sana tight pa rin tayo by next year! :) Thank
youuuu! I MISS YOU ALL! Love you much! :) Hugggg.
HEAVEN
Ay sus, ikaw pa makakalimutan ko??
Sa lahat ng mga sinabi ko sayo, sa dami ng sulat ko sayo, ano pa ba ang hindi ko sinasabi sayo??
Since day 1, I had been thankful to you. And for the millionth time, I will never tire thanking you for the things you did for me, for the memories we shared, for the years we've known each other and we've been together as bestfriends. Thank you bestfriend. :) Thank you for being patient with me, for allowing me to be violent to you (WAHAHAHAHA!), for being a good listener, sa pagtitiis mo sa pag-nag ko, sa pagtiyaga mo sunduin o ihatid ako, for being there no matter what, for taking care of me, sa mga pantitrip mo sakin, for the friendship and trust, for being honest and open, for the seemingly endless conversation we always have, for making up for the time lost nung nagkahiwalay tayo nung college, for being a brother, a friend and an unofficial BF all rolled into one, for everything. Alam mo na yung mga yun. :)
It's the holiday season so dapat happy! No drama messages from me. Kaya ayun, thank you. And I trust in what you said that no matter where we are, the friendship we have will always be the same. And I trust in the friendship that we b uilt na it will overcome the distance that will soon envelop us. We will always be the bestest bestfriends everrr. Love you much! :) Huggg. Hay naku, super mamimiss kita. Okay, hold back the tears. Haha.
KEN
Paano ba naman kita makakalimutan e pinagsayaw mo ko ng Patron Tequila e kabago-bago pa lang natin magkakilala! Hahaha! But seriously, in that span of almost a month of us knowing each other, I want to thank you because you were nice to me. Akalain mong kabago-bago lang din natin magkausap e lovelife ko na agad ang kinuwento ko sayo! Thank you sa pakikinig mo at sa pag-aadvice mo sakin. Thank you because you you gave me a chance to get to know you even a little somehow. And I bet di mo ko makakalimutan, kapangalan ko ba naman ang first girlfriend mo! Wahahaha! You are among my new friends this year so I hope kahit nasa Canada ka na e friends pa rin tayo ha, Herp? Hahahaha! Hay nako no, kahit sandali lang tayo nagkasama dito sa Pinas e yung mga memories that we shared will never be forgotten - yung pumunta ka ng Cavite, we made the video and the surprise, nung tumambay tayo sa UST after the surprise. I miss you Herp! Hahaha!
And as for YOU, oo ikaw nga.
For the friend that I gained in you.
Thank you so much. Super much.
The succeeding words you will be able to read, I don't know how to say them but I know I just have to say it. So just bear with me and take time to read or listen.
For that smile and happiness that you unknowingly brought back into my life.
For that jumpy feeling and inspiration you unknowingly gave me.
For making my heart palpitate. For making me almost breathless. For making me nervous and speechless.
For being sweet and caring. For being open and nice. For being thoughtful and very appreciative.
For everything that you are, head to toe.
Thank You. Super, Super much. Ikaw na lang ulit nakagawa nyan.
I would have wanted to tell you this upfront or even while we 'talk' pero alam ko naman na ayaw mo akong kausapin. Super miss na kita. As in super. I miss the late night YM sessions and the random texts. Namimiss kong hintayin ka sa YM. I miss your kwentos. I miss your corny lines. I miss you calling me names. I miss you listening to whatever I have to say. I miss the way we were. I just miss everything. It feels like ages since we last talked. Kung galit ka man sakin or kung may issue man tayo, sana, if it's not too much to ask, sabihin mo naman sa akin. Alam kong meron. I know you are busy and this is the least thing on your mind right now but I am still hoping that you're still gonna talk to me. Sorry kung kinukulit kita about this, alam kong hindi ito yung right time but it feels like the right time for me to say this.
At this point, siguro naman alam mo na kung bakit ko sinasabi to. Oo, yun na nga yun. Wala nang iba. Can we please stop playing mind games and stop talking in riddles? Kakainin ko na hiya ko because I just can't take it anymore. For the past 7-8 months i think, you messed, you occupied and you bothered both my heart and my mind. Ang gusto ko lang naman dati ipakilala ka sakin ni Kla, di ko naman alam na aabot sa ganito. Assuming na ako kung assuming pero part of me thinks you felt the same or at least part of me hoped that what we had wasn't just a feel-good time or a plain joke or a pure friendly thing. O diba, ang gaga ko. Haha. Ayoko magpadala kasi ang kapal nga naman ng mukha ko mag-assume o umasa. I tried to stay away but you made it so hard. Pero nung nalaman ko na may iba ka pala talagang gusto, I felt stupid na nangarap at nag-wish pa ako na sana ako na lang. I didn't want to throw away the friendship that we had just for that kaya I tried to be your friend and stayed as your friend. E mas lalo pala akong nahirapan makawala. Binulabog mo mundo ko. Until now di ko alam kung ano na gagawin ko. Di ko alam kung maghihintay pa ba ako na mapansin mo or I just have to face the fact na nangangarap lang ako ng gising. I apologize for crossing over that boundary, di ko naman intention. Sorry talaga. But for what it's worth, napapahiya man ako right at this moment na binabasa mo to or mukha na akong tanga nagsasalita ng mga kagagahan ko, I still owe you my gratitude for making me smile and for making me inspired. Atat na atat nga ako umuwi nun every weekend from review kasi excited na ako makausap ka and excited ako matapos mag-boards kasi finally di na hati ang attention ko. Hay. Whatever your reply to this or kung magrereply ka nga, bear in mind na I'm still your friend regardless of everything I said. Alam kong irereject mo ako, it's okay. Keri ko yan. Prepared na ako. Haha. I prefer to lose you as my 'someone special' than to lose you as my friend. Nangingibabaw pa rin yung friendship natin over what my heart is saying, that is if we are still friends e parang ayaw mo nga ako kausapin. So yun.
This is so un-girly, I know. Sorry. I just have to let it all out. Nakakahiya tong ginagawa ko so wag mo lang ako pagtawanan ha, uupakan kita! Hahaha. And I just hope na you won't be a bragging airhead about this. And I also hope that above all of this, I still have you as my friend. Gustung-gusto kita itago as my friend for a lifetime. Pero kung hindi man, thank you for that short span of time you've given me to get to know you.
So ayun, Happy Christmas to everyone! :) Hope you had a good year because I know I did and let's all pray for a wonderful and blessed 2010 for all of us! :)