Now, I can do it better! :)

A new friend of mine sent me this link to a drawing and it really made my day! :)

Papers, be ready, I'm gonna murder you when I practice my drawing skills! :) Hopefully I can master the 'person' not just the clothes! :)

Thank you very much, Aldrin! :)

Moving forward! :)

29 June 2010 -- one of the most disappointing and depressing days of my life! It was the judgment day of one of the careers I ever wanted.

Well, I've been down for days lately and I'm hating it. I have 'grieved' enough over my life's recent disappointments already. And placing my self stagnant in that feeling will be too much already. Being overly depressed over things I can no longer change is so not my thing (Well, exception to heart issues, I believe. It's a dfferent case. Haha!) and will never be part of my options in life so instead, I AM MOVING FORWARD! :) I have been too confused as well with what am I gonna do next but I have thought about it already and I tell you, this will be a start of something new, another plan unfolding. :)

CAREER:

Since The Medical City didn't want me, I will not insist myself on them. I'll give myself a break and jump onto other options that are laid out in front of me. If I can't be an OR Nurse right away as I would have wanted, I'll try my luck in Jose R. Reyes Memorial Medical Center. I'll extend my training there while I process my papers for application. :) As for my US Board exams, I have to take it as soon as possible. But - BUT - that does not mean I will back down on The Medical City, I'll retake my test on December, you wait for me! I'll come back with vengeance! HAHAHA!

LOVE:

This was the number two on my list that I was referring to in my former entry. Well, it had already been settled (see entry), at least for me. I'm leaving him behind me and move forward to whoever target I lay my eyes on. Hahaha! That's it. That's FINAL! I may love him still but I won't look back anymore. I won't gain anything from looking back. :)

FASHION DREAM:
I won't give up on you either. I'm creating ways so you and I can be a little closer. Just give me time to prepare myself and save up somehow for my tuition so you and I can live happily ever after! :) You cost almost half a million, you know! Haha!

So there. So far, that's how my life's gonna start from now on. Wish me luck people! :)

A Letter.

Dear You,

I don't know why am I even making this. I don't know if this is me missing you, or me still hoping and waiting for the day that we can talk again or if this is me still in love with you... After all this time, I thought I had moved on but obviously, you still occupy my heart and you still pop in my head... I'm wondering how you are and what have you been up to lately... Yeah, I guess you are still (and will always be) special to me, regardless of what happened between us. There were a lot of unspoken words, unsettled issues, misinterpretation and miscommunication... I don't know if we can still deal with those or if we will ever deal with them again... I loved you and still love you and I intend to continue loving you even from a distance until my heart learns to get over you and until my heart finds someone to love again, until my heart finds someone who is willing to stand up for me, who will not turn his back on me and leave me without any explanation and who is willing to love me back just the same... I'm not asking you to love me back... It's not about you not loving me back that hurts, it's you acting that we don't know each other at all that hurts the most... I guess it's better to hope for the day that if we ever meet again, we can act civil with each other and we would be better people... I hope and pray to God to grant you the blessings you deserve and for good things to come your way... For all the wrong and mean things that I did to you, I apologize for every single act... I also want to thank you for the little time and memories that we shared and for everything you brought in my life that you are unaware of. For what it's worth, in spite of what happened, I still believe that you are among the greatest men I have ever met. I also hope and pray to God to help me heal my heart and help me get over you... I have done my part, I have reached my limit in reaching out and this will be the last time I will ever talk about you... :)

Oh life, what am I gonna do with you?

I've been feeling a little down lately with everything that has been happening with my life right now. I don't know what to do. It's no good at all. I'm not being negative here in general. I'm just sad. Just let me rant in my own little space, okay?

Number one on my list: CAREER!

I've been mentioning a lot in my recent entries that there's this job that I want but unfortunately, I don't think I got it. I had my exam in The Medical City last Tuesday. I had the feeling that I will pass but I didn't receive any confirmatory text since Friday. The people I took exam with received texts already! I'm so depressed. I wanted that spot so badly. I still hope that I will get a text by Monday, just in time for the Psych test on Tuesday. But then again, I don't want to expect that much anymore because it would totally crush my heart. I really felt that I will get in and now that I didn't, I don't know what to do next. I know I shouldn't lose hope. I'm a positive person. But I can't help to be sad. And even embarrassed! I feel like I can't face my groupmates and the people I took the exam with. And I envy them. :( After my training in Jose Reyes, I thought a job in Medical City is waiting for me already. Now I don't have anything to do next after that training. I may be forced to take my US board exams earlier. Tsk.

Okay, I'll call HR Department by Monday. If it's really negative, that's when I should think of what to do next.

Oh Lord, please give me this one. I hope they just forgot to text me or there was a network problem that's why I didn't get THE TEXT.

Number two: Save it for the next entry.

For the meantime, I'll de-stress and re-energize myself through unwatched dvd's and un-updated looklet account... :)

OR, here I come! :)

I finally graduated from my Perioperative Training in The Medical City last Wednesday! :) We had our graduation then we had our after party at Manor. :)

I gotta say, it's one, if not the most, of the best training I ever attended so far. Aside from meeting new people (most of which are my Tita's friends), it was God's answer to me, just when I was losing hope in my nursing career. I learned a lot and it made me look at OR nurses differently, that there's more to just assisting and handing the surgical instruments to the surgeon. There's more responsibility attached to it that I haven't realized when I was a student. Although I know and heard of them and it was taught to us, it all just made more sense now that I am a professional nurse and not just merely a student. An OR nurse is what I want to be (aside from being a fashion designer of course). It's the job that I want right now. It's the next stop in my nursing career that I want to reach.

So to The Medical City, I hope you read my comment in your evaluation form and I will say it again:

Will you be kind enough to hire me as your OR Nurse? :)

*I hope they will hire me ASAP (given that I pass my exam on Tuesday, of course. My goshhh! Wish me luckkk!)!!! :)*

OMG, that H&M top!

I am a super fan of lookbook that I signed up for its subscription that is sent straight to my email since I can no longer browse at the site religiously like I used to.

As I was checking my mail, I was surprised to see this!

Her lookbook name is Iris. A 27-year old fashion student from Netherlands.

Yes, I also own the same top! Though in this picture that I used as basis of comparison, hers look better because mine was just recently laundered. (And I also apologize for the poor shot. Haha.) But I bet I saved more bucks than her when we bought it. How come? I'm sure she bought it straight from the store, I bought mine in a thrift store here in Manila for 85 bucks. Yes, you read that right, 85 bucks. Less than a hundred. $2 more or less.

Oh, how I love my fashion and shopping gene! :)

Last Hirit before Singapore. :(

9 June 2010, Wednesday
Friday's at SM Mall of Asia




After two months, we were finally able to hang out again! All for Chai, of course. :) It's her 'last hirit' before leaving for Singapore for good? (Well, we hope it's for good, not because we want you to be away but we want you to start your career already.)


We only bonded for a few hours (which is bitin, really, btw.) because we have our own respective 'routine appointments and agendas' the next day. Boo. Haha.


I missed you guys soooo much! It's nice to see you Ranj and most especially Johnnel na 3 years ko na atang di nakita (and until now perv ka pa rin. NYAHAHAHAHA! Joke lang. ;p)

Jolo aka Iyaz. Ranjel aka Charice = Pyramid. Haha!

The One Who Got Away. :(

*Tagged note courtesy of BFF*




Source: The Manila Times

By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with …and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away?

I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a long time partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing.

It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will. The day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come.

Hopefully you’re single… but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You’ll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?"

That’s what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you’ll have in your life.

If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that if you’re already with the one you’re with, that this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple… find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you’ll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee; ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you’ve dropped in from out of nowhere. You’d be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won’t make a difference.

If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow. And it would be a great feeling, if in the end, you’d be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.

No to negative vibes.

I don't know why I am still trying to patch things up and save the friendship when it seems like he doesn't want to anymore.

I don't want to be judgmental, I don't want to assume, I don't want to think overly about it and I don't want to look at it just from my own perspective. Because frankly, the way I see it, he just doesn't want to have anything to do with me.

Please, I'm not insensitive. I'm not stupid as well.

I'd like to believe he is my friend but with the way he is with me now just proves what I think -- he wasn't my friend. I thought he was but he wasn't. Because if he really was, he would also try to reach out as well. And if I'm wrong, well, forgive me and have the courage to explain things to me.

But then, maybe even the friendship we had was tainted too much that it takes more time, more patience for it to recover.

I'm not asking for much and I don't want to expect.

It just makes me sad and makes me want to delete all forms of virtual and digital communication we have (or used to have) so I won't be tempted and I won't hear or see anything about him. Ever again. But then again, when I come to my rational sense, I refuse to do it and be oh-so-highly-immature because of this.

So yeah, just ignore it Jana.

Oh gosh, but it's annoying! Ugh.