The Real Deal.

Bachelor of Science in Medicine.

That was my target when I was applying for universities back in senior year in high school. I took up Nursing as my pre-med, partly brainwashed by my mother. It would be like hitting two birds with one stone, as she said. Just in case I won’t proceed to Medicine, I would still have a good fall back. If I had my way, I would have taken Physical Therapy. So being the quite unsure and obedient 16-year old daughter that I am, I did succumb to what my mom wanted.

Four years later, I graduated from that course and passed the board exam. Almost 7 months after passing my board exam, an opportunity came – an enrichment training in Jose Reyes. Minus pay of course! But then, that’s not the issue. In my first three days, I realized and I knew right then and there that this is not the job that I really wanted, this is not where I see myself in the next 5-10 years and this is not the job where I can see myself doing until I retire. So I thought of what I should do next and considered what other options I have.

I have three choices:

• Proceed to Medicine as originally planned
• Take my Master’s Degree
• Take my NCLEX exam

Just because I knew in my heart that I don’t want to be a nurse forever, I decided to explore and try the three options altogether just to see where I fit appropriately and where God would rightly place me. I asked for signs from God and set myself a ‘standard’ or ‘strategy’ like, “If I get this, I’ll do this…”, for every choice. Bottomline: I was super confused with my life that I don’t really know what to do and I just made it more confusing with those ‘standards’ and ‘strategies’ that I made for myself! So I just prayed and just let things take its own course…

The week that my friends and I watched Avatar, I saw a book in National Book Store. It was entitled "How to be a Fashion Designer?" I was so excited and almost jumpy upon seeing the book! At that moment, the thought of SERIOUSLY trying my luck in fashion crossed my mind.

One night, when I got home from Mass, it so happened that the TV was tuned in ANC and a show was featuring Salvacion Lim Higgins. I got excited and then the thought hit me hard again. And so I asked myself, "Why not try Fashion Design?"

"That's it! Enough thinking!" I replied back to my own question.

I have always loved and always been interested in fashion since I can no longer remember. In first grade, if I’m not mistaken, I actually wanted to be a fashion designer. But of course, what does a first grader really know about career, right? Studying fashion never left my mind, I just never seriously thought of it as a career that I will take. Until now. At first, I want to study it out of my own selfish purpose -- so I can make my own clothes! But now, I want to study it so I can be one helluva designer! (Yeah, remember my name because it's gonna be all over the place! Hahaha!) :p

"... Just go for it! You know you've been wanting this for so long, you just didn't have the courage to even admit it to yourself because it's a risky path and career to take," I told myself again.

So how did I reach my final decision? Let me present the other events that led me to my decision:

• I remember Liana asking me, “Why not pursue Medicine? Kaya mo naman yan e.”

I wasn’t able to give her a clear answer then. If I come to think of it now, yes I can pursue and finish Medicine. But it boils down to the question of me still ‘wanting’ to pursue it. So do I still want it? No I don’t think so. Not anymore. If I really do want it, I wouldn’t have to think twice about it in the first place. I believe the grandiose of MD added to my name deceived me and lured me to think that it is for me.

• Lee asked me, “What would make you happy?”

Doing what I think I am better at and doing what I really want is what will make me happy. Helping people to feel and look good, to gain confidence and self-esteem and to throw something fabulous on their body is a simple way that I know of by heart and helping them in that simple way is what will make me happy. Yes, it may be simple but only a few talented and artistic people can do that. :) And I intend to be among those ‘few talented and artistic people.’

• My bestfriend told me, “Alam mo, di nga kita nakikita na magiging doctor.” Vinch told me, “Akala ko nga dati Fashion Design kukunin mo e!”

That white coat will forever be a temptation I will never give in to and will forever be a dream that I would be contented just looking from a far. I am meant for a white trench coat! Plus killer stilettos and knee-high leather boots. :) Haha.

So I used my Alma Mater's College of Medicine logo as if they would surely accept me if I applied? Haha!

But reaching my final decision doesn’t mean I would study Fashion Design right away. Why?

• First: The degree I have now is something I never earned easily. The profession that I have now is noble and something that I would kill for if any person degrades it.
• Second: Unfortunately, no matter how stressful my job is, I kinda love it. Haha. So yeah, probably and most of the time, it’s just my stress hormones that do the talking and the complaining. Haha.
• Third: I won’t give up my degree just like that. I worked my ass off for it. Besides, One Medical Ward is not enough to pull me down. It is just one ward. I haven’t tried other wards yet (in terms of being a non-student), I haven’t tried working in my favourite place in the hospital – the OR! I want to be fair with my career as of the moment. I haven't explored being a nurse that much anyway.
• Fourth: No matter how my bestfriend pushes me to study Fashion Design as soon as possible, I prefer to take my Master’s Degree first primarily because of the state of upgraded level. I think that’s very self-explanatory, right?
• Fifth: I want to prepare myself more for Fashion School because I plan to apply for a scholarship in SofA. I want to be more well-read, well-exposed and well-conversed when it comes to fashion.

So here’s my plan:

• I will take my NCLEX exam this year. Two reasons: A. Just so I can grant what my mom and uncle wants and B. If, emphasis on the IF, ever I get to work in the US as a nurse, at least, I’m ready.)
• I will enroll in my Master’s Degree next year. Hopefully, I would go to Graduate School and work (IF EVER. BUT I REALLY DO HOPE.) at the same time.
• Then I will enroll in Fashion School (Bachelor of Arts Degree in Fashion Design and Merchandising)! :) Hopefully I can get a scholarship! :)
• I plan to have a business for the meantime, I just don’t know what to sell yet. Haha.

My dad’s very supportive as to whatever I want to do but my mom raised a point, “Bakit, kung gusto mo mag-Fashion Design, kelangan iwan mo talaga yung pagiging nurse? Di mo ba pwede pagsabayin?”

In all honesty, I don’t think and I am not sure that my mom’s up for my ‘unleash-the-designer-in-me’ idea. It’s not that she’s not supportive of me, she is a stage mother actually. I believe she just does not see it as a career. And that’s what pushes me more to pursue it so I can prove to her that I can be someone in that field as well. But at the same time, I’m scared of disappointing her if ever I leave my nursing career behind. I don’t know in what way of disappointment exactly but I just feel that I might disappoint her. My bestfriend raised a good argument as well, “We all have to disappoint them at some time…” And I have to agree with him. I say, in a case like this, I guess disappointing them because you went after what you had just lately realized that you really want is valid and has a win-win situation for both sides in the end. So yeah, obviously, that’s how I badly want it.

And I’ll raise this line of reasoning to her just like what she said to me five years ago, “It would be like hitting two birds with one stone.”

So yeah, why not do both? I can multitask. But let’s put it to test first and see if I can really handle it...

But if I can’t, I guess that’s the time to let go and for them to give way and let me do what I want. REALLY WANT… I love being a nurse. But I love more to be a fashion designer. :)

Never too late. :)

A month and 3 days ago, my bestfriend made an effort to go with me to witness her exhibit. Unfortunately, it was closed that day.

Five days later, my aunt and I went back but the museum was about to close.

This afternoon, my aunt and I went back and fortunately, we were able to witness the preserved creations of the very famous Salvacion Lim Higgins’ exhibit aka SLIM.

I only got a hold of this. No picture taking allowed.

I first saw and learned of Salvacion Lim Higgins on tv when she was featured in a show (which I forgot the name) on ANC. I was super amazed because her collection was just fabulous. It was simple yet with a certain bang; it was well-made and very intricate; it was classy and glamorous. Her clothes speak a defined form expression, represent a culture and complement a woman’s body perfectly.

Upon entering the room, I got super excited and astonished. If that wasn’t a museum, I could have jumped out of excitement! I wanted to try on the clothes and learn how to do them at the same time! She was just amazing. She had a unique sense of vision that speaks clearly through her clothes. Her perfectionism was evident with her works since she was the one who made them, even the details. Her clothes never ran out of style, eternal. I wish I could be great like her…

So a year had passed already?

27 March of 2009.
Clinical Graduation.

26 April of 2009.
Academic Graduation.


*****

"It is fleeting. When a disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold, then that would be the end of it..."

HAHA. Reminisce much? ;p

April Surprise!

17 April 2010, Saturday

Tagaytay and Jolo's Place (Our second home. Haha.)

We organized a birthday surprise for the three birthday celebrants -- Tin, Joanne and Bobbie! :)

I believe we did a good job in keeping it a big secret. :) Minus the hassle part when Joanne told me she won't come (She was just shitting me. Haha!), when I still haven't finished the 'scrapbook card' and the traffic that we let the celebrants wait for almost 2 hours! Haha!

THE Card. :)

Hello friends! :)

Anyway, it was worth it. Each of the three girls were surprised differently. :)

We ate lunch at Pepper Steak. Boohoo that bitchy customer! You're the first! Whatevah bitch. Haha!

On our way to lunch. :)

Then being the indecisive people that we are, we stayed at the parking lot to have our photo ops! Hahaha!

Happened to see Pinky! :) Haven't seen her since my debut. I miss her much. :(

Then we rode in the car without really knowing where to go! My gosh. Where did we landed? Jolo's place, where else? We love their house, even though he TOTALLY refused and insisted we head for the movies. Haha! Gosh, we may have grown but we're still the indecisive little rascals! Hahaha!

After indulging ourselves with the melted cake, we watched tons of videos courtesy of our resident bum, Don Jolo. Haha!

I had so much fun, guys! :) I haven't laughed like that for quite a while. It feels good to be with people like these. :) I love you much, guys! :) Too bad, Lee wasn't able to come. :(

Happy Birthday Girls! :)

O, kanta na! "Always, I wanna be with you..." HAHAHAHA!

A Eulogy to my Ring. :(

On the morning of 20 March 2010, my favourite and very constant accessory was flushed accidentally in the toilet. Yes, in the toilet bowl. As in IN.THE.TOILET.BOWL.

How?

I don’t usually remove my ring when I take a bath or even when I do chores. I only remove it during two occasions: when on duty (because it’s not allowed) and when I poop (of course! Haha.).

I pooped that morning (I did not just say that here!) while taking a bath so I removed it. While I was about to finish taking a bath, something fell. Since I have defective eyes, I didn’t actually have a clear picture of what it was. I squinted and tried to locate it on the bathroom floor. Unfortunately, I didn’t see anything. I looked inside the pail and I didn’t notice anything so I thought maybe it was just the soap that fell. The shitty thing was, IT DIDN’T OCCUR TO ME THAT IT WAS MY RING THAT FELL until I was about to leave the house! My mom used the bathroom after I did so when I went back for my ring, IT WASN’T THERE!!! Oh gosh, my heart pounded so fast! I knew in my heart my ring was flushed in the toilet (because the flush in the bathroom was defective, we had to pour water in the toilet bowl for flushing). I was super frustrated with myself! If only I checked the pail more thoroughly as I did in the bathroom floor. I was also in a hurry because I was about to meet my friends so my Mom didn’t had the chance to lecture me.

Nothing really grand but has tons of sentimental value... :(

My mom got a little bit mad at me for my negligence. She gave me that ring as her birthday gift for my 11^th birthday! That simple gold ring with a purple gem was made out of my Mom’s earring (the other pair of that earring was snatched anyway). Me and that ring had been together for 11 YEARSSS, 6 months and 12 days!!! We shared so many memories together. :( There were days when I thought I lost it but it was just somewhere in my bag whenever I remove it on duty or somewhere in my bed whenever I remove it unconsciously while I’m sleeping (yes, it happens! Weird.). I never thought it would be lost through the toilet bowl! I intend to pass it on to my daughter supposedly but now it’s gone! My hands feels and looks empty. :(

But now, I can say I had moved on with the lost of my ring. But there were days that I miss it. :( Whenever I look my hands or wash my hands, it reminds me of my stupid negligence. I asked my mom to have another ring with the same look made for my 22^nd birthday. Or to just give me another ring that is a little similar to my ring. She said she’ll think about it because I might lose it again. Haha.

So that’s the story of how annoying my carelessness is.

Lesson of the story? Don’t remove your jewelry when you’re about to poop. HAHAHA!

Lunch out with Family and Visita Iglesia 2010

26 and 27 March 2010, Fri and Sat

Our uncle arrived to the Philippines for a vacation. We had dinner on a Friday night at TGIF's. Then we had lunch the next day at Seaside.

At Seaside. :) Yummeh! :)

Sibling love. :)

*****

01 April 2010, Holy Thursday

Last year, Joanne and her officemates plus me and Jaymee did Visita Iglesia. Now, it's us again plus Heaven, in replacement of Joanne's officemates.

Hehe. As usual, my bestfriend is our ultimate driver of the day. Well, Joanne did a little bit of driving, within our high school alma mater nga lang. Hehe. We went to 7 churches - one near in SM Dasmariñas which I forgot the name, La Salette, a chapel in Rogationist College (our HS alma mater), Pink Sisters, SVD, Lourdes and Ina ng Laging Saklolo.

At our High School Alma Mater.

At SVD.

At Pink Sisters.

We did Stations of the Cross in La Salette which was a good decision because when we arrived at Pink Sisters, there were lots of people already. Last year, a part of my prayer was humbly asking to help me pass my board exam. This year, a part of my prayer was to help me land a job. Next year, I hope I'll be praying for a different thing and I hope I'll be doing this again with the same people I was with and for more friends to be able to join us as well. :)