Out of my comfort zone and out there! :D

Contrary to what I have been doing for the past few years, which is sending out personal messages to people who are dear to me, I will do a different year-ender this time. While others are looking back, this year, mine will be about what lies ahead of me. My 2010 basically sucks so there’s nothing really to look back into so might as well look forward, right?

So just a thought, how do you define 'possibility' and 'opportunity'? Do they differ in meaning or somewhat synonymous? How can one say that he/she is 'opening up' or just 'settling'?

Generally, I believe that how one defines these words is a case-to-case basis, depending on how one views his/her current situation and how one views a certain something as possibility or an opportunity. As for my case, here's how I define it: 

Possibility versus opportunity. They seem similar in meaning, both of them refers to 'chance', makes you want to 'try' and has no guarantee if you'll be successful or not; but there is a fine line of difference. Possibility presents a chance, a future prospect, somewhat very vague. Opportunity is a given lucky chance, somewhat handed to you by fate that is mostly in favor of you. 

Opening up versus settling. Opening up is widening your choices that MAY OR MAY NOT be even in your league and exploring them altogether or one at a time. Settling is like being stuck and with no other choices left in front of you. 

But the bottomline here is whenever you open yourself up or whenever you settle to either a possibility or an opportunity, still you risk yourself by doing it or engaging in it because you don’t know what’s gonna happen next, you don't know what to expect, you don’t know if you’ll gonna like or want it until the end or if you can outlast it. 

So for this coming year, I am going to combine these four words based on how I define them to create my mantra: OPEN UP TO A POSSIBILITY AND NEVER SETTLE EASILY FOR AN OPPORTUNITY. (Easier said than done.) Okay, don't get me wrong here. I do appreciate when opportunities present itself to me. Most of the time, I have grabbed opportunities in front of me. That's how safe in life I am. I have always lived my life mainly on the comfort zone, on planning every step of the way and doing something unsure scares the hell out of me. It's a scary world out there and opting to go for something I had never tried before and more uncertain than a job I'm supposed to have is like choosing between life and death (Okay, that may be a little, little exaggerated but you get my point. Haha). I'm tired of playing safe, of being too practical all the time and I just want to move out of my box. I am going to be open to each possibility and every opportunity BUT I am not going to settle right away if I think that it is less than I deserve and if it's not going to make me ENTIRELY happy at all. Despite the uncertainties and for whatever reason or magical force from above, there are more things that make me want to try and do them badly. And the heck with what happens next. To choose not to do them would just kill me and it would be the biggest mistake of my life. So I am going to focus on those. While I still have the time and luxury to try things and no contract is tying me down. :)

My 2010 is a year of trial-and-error, if you may call it. I tried granting what my parents want from me. But I wasn't able to give them that. I failed myself and I failed them at the same time. Not on purpose, of course. When I come to think of it, maybe it’s not the right time or it’s not what or where God wants me to be. Or probably it’s really not for me and it's God's way of speaking to me that I should stop chasing for that lost opportunity and just go after the possibility that I had been considering. I don’t know. Who knows anyway?

In between volunteering for a hospital and bumming around, I’d found a part of me that is envious of my peers and batchmates who were already a step ahead of me in their careers and a part of me that is thankful because I still got the time in my hands to really think. 

Do I really want this badly that I'm wasting much time waiting for that job? No.

After I get that job, will I be really, really, really happy? No.

Should I just jump right ahead into that professional path though I feel unsure if it's right for me? No.

Why would I be unsure in the first place? Yeah, why would I? Why would I question myself that in the first place.

When I do get that job, what would be my reason behind in doing it? Is it because I want it and I love doing the task that entails it or is it just for the sake of doing the ‘automatic’, the ‘given next step’? No comment. Go figure.

Should I just give up waiting for something I am not entirely sure if I want it and just go for something that I really want to do? Do I still have to verbally say it, I mean really?

Honestly, I'm frustrated, annoyed and bored. But then, when I imagine myself in the shoes of my colleagues, I still find myself smiling and thinking, "I'm still luckier because I don't have to put up with that." So yeah, probably and definitely I don’t want it after all. People give up things they just don’t want. Simple as that. This is the time wherein I should stop blaming the economy and myself for not realizing early on what I really want and just make a move for the other things that I WANT so as not to waste any more time and experience what is out of my comfort zone. It should and must come to an end now. I had already set aside things that I had wanted to do for my parents, for the so-called 'I-thought-this-was-what-I-wanted career" which is obviously still non-existent, there’s no backing down this time. I will kill anyone who will mess with my 2011. *insert evil smirk and laugh*

And you would think I would enumerate here my main To-do List for this coming year. But no, I would have to keep it a secret though. Let me just surprise you with the upcoming stories I'm gonna share with you through my posts. :) Let's just all sit tight, relax and wait for the unexpected while enjoying the ride. :) 

And no resolutions for this year also. Resolutions are good but I believe it's better to be (or at least try to be) a better person each living day. It generally stands up for at least almost, if not all, of our resolutions. Well, that's for me who never accomplishes all of my resolutions and using that thought as an excuse. Haha! I know, I am such a fail! Hahaha! But I had a point, right? Right? :p 

Let’s all look forward for a fruitful and better year ahead of us! Let's all be more awesome and improved! :D Advance Happy New Year! :)

Happy New Year! :D

I know 2011 will be my year. I'll say it again, REMEMBER MY NAME BECAUSE IT'S GONNA BE ALL OVER THE PLACE. Yes, I meant what I said back in high school and still mean that.
(I actually didn't know exactly what I was talking about or referring to during that one English class. If I'm not mistaken, I was thinking of myself as a model. WTH, i know. A girl can dream, what can I say? But now I know I wasn't totally referring to that! :D)

December Rundown.

1. Advance Christmas dinner with high school friends.

In replacement of the epic Christmas reunion last year, we just settled for this since it's hard to schedule events nowadays because everyone's busy with work.

High school friends + Dinner + Seemingly endless blabber and walking + Kanya-kanyang trip at barahan + Wonderful night + Ginormous meal + JAYMEE'S AND CONGRESSMAN TEPS' BIRTHDAY! + SINONG PRESENT?? SI KATE! HAHA. - Drinks (Sayang. Haha.) = LOVE ♥ :D

*I look so stressed in my photos! OMG. Haha.*

2. Cams' Birthday - Shower

She's the first in our group! :)
I was shocked when I heard the news, more like, when I saw it on facebook! Haha. Congrats Cams! I wish you safe delivery and healthy baby boy! :) I'm excited to see him! See you on the baptismal event! :D


I missed my college friends! Haven't seen some of them for months.

 

 

3. Happy Christmas 2010! :D

So, it's our first Christmas in our new home in Manila. And it's our first Christmas with our cousins. Before, we only celebrate New Year's together. Then reunions became rare in these recent years so it's like a first again. :D Our other set of cousins were in Cagayan so we weren't able to celebrate with them.


We attended Christmas Eve Mass in UST. Had our Noche Buena earlier because of the 'sleepy elderly' aka parents and aunt. HAHAHA. And for what seems like a first time again, we opened gifts (only from our mother because the rest of the gifts were already 'shopped-then-give' beforehand! Well, since we outgrew the Santa Claus thing, they stopped giving us 'wrapped' and 'secretly kept' gifts -- the price all of us pay when you're old already. Haha! I think I should suggest to my mother to bring back giving us wrapped gifts. Then as usual, before we sleep, my brothers and I played with the camera.


The next day, we had our Christmas lunch.


And that's it.

The rest of my December were spent on studying so my social calendar's such a bore. Wasn't even able to attend the Christmas party with my college friends. Boo. I am just excited to get this exam done and over with so my mind can rest and be preoccupied with things other than 'academic' stuff! Haha.

So how about you, how was your December and your Christmas celebration? Hope you had a good one. :D

Happy Christmas everyone! :D

Pre-fall Love. :D

Here are a few of my favorites from Karl Lagerfeld's (for Chanel) and Oscar de la Renta's (two of my favorite designers) pre-fall collection.

Pictures from vogue.com

If you wanna see the full collection, click HERE and HERE.

More thumbs up collection by DVF, Zac Posen, Vera Wang and Carolina Herrera. :D (Haven't posted my favorite looks from their collection though because I'm sleepy already. Hee.)

Why Easy A made me cry.

Disclaimer: I’m not a slut nor did I pretended to be as a favour for other people. :D

So being the loser that I am, I was able to watch just recently the movie, ‘Easy A.’ If you have watched the movie, you know the story. If you haven’t, well, I suggest you should. Now! :)

See the thing is, it is a funny movie. Yet I don’t know why I just found myself wiping tears falling down my cheeks in some parts of the movie, specifically in the middle towards the end. It’s not tears out of too much laughing. Don’t get me wrong, I laughed in the movie but yeah, it made me cry at the same time.

Why?

For the simple reason that I can relate to Olive. We don't have the same story though but I exactly know how it feels to be judged wrongly, to hear people say things about you, to be looked upon by the people around you like ‘that’ ('that' doesn't mean slut in my case, as I've said earlier). In Olive's case, she did it on purpose and not really realizing the consequences while in my case, I didn’t do anything. And if ever I did, I did not do it on purpose. It’s just that people around me in high school were very highly judgmental. It's normal for people to have impressions on someone, but you can't totally rely on those impressions unless you know the person, much worse if you based your impressions on hearsays and spread stories based on your impressions. 

So to make it simple, I was misinterpreted and misjudged head-to toe. It totally affected me. I felt like something was wrong with me for people to think of me that way when I actually didn’t do anything. I cried buckets, I read a lot of self-help articles and then one day, thank God for that day, it hit me. I realized that I should just let it go and just don’t care because first, I don’t owe anybody an explanation and I prefer proving to people what I can do rather than proving to people who I really am. I can’t control how they thought of me. They didn’t know me well and everyone has gotta say about everybody so why bother? All I know is that I didn’t do anything wrong and it wasn’t my problem if they thought of me in whatever way they wanted. I had (and still have) people who knew me well and they were worth my attention. 

Second, I can’t be bothered all the time by what I hear they say about me or think of me. I can’t revolve my life to those people so I let them say what they wanted, I got tired of them all anyway. 

And lastly, I wasn’t born to please anybody. Those who matter wouldn’t mind and those who mind does not matter. 

The only thing that I did was held my head high and give no effin damn. :D

But at some point, I realized that it was also a good thing that happened because I was able to filter the people around me, made me knew who my friends were and who weren’t, made me stronger and transparent. I became immune to those people eventually. Then one sunny day, the talking and back-lashing stopped and we had come into good terms little by little. And who would have thought that some of those people even became my friends later on? One of life's ironies. Haha.

And no, I haven’t met my Todd at the end of it all. Well, I met Todd somewhere in the middle but you see, he is not really the “Todd” who stuck with me till the end. But I’m still thankful because at that point, he’s the only guy (aside from my guy friends) who really bothered, if you know what I mean. Haha. So we’ll see. I’ll keep you posted on who will be my own version of Todd who will stick with me till the end, who will carry his speakers below my window and who will borrow his neighbor’s lawnmower for me, who will make me stand in two cities at the same time and who will dance with me under the moonlight, who will make my feet raise when he kiss me, and etc. Haha. :D. And when that happens, I'll have my own production number at the end as well. Lady Gaga-like. HAHAHA!

Speaking of which, I was so curious of that John Cusack movie that I want to watch it. I'll search and download it! :)

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation because your character is what you really are while you reputation is merely what others think you are.

I will never be good enough for everybody. But this is for sure, I am the best for someone who really appreciates me.

Rambling of Recent.

Picture is from the decorista.

Need to say more? :)

Picture is from Olsens Anonymous.

I just love the effortlessly-thrown, not-thought of outfits which obviously turns out very stylish. I guess it comes with confidence with what you're wearing and with yourself.

Pictures are from H&M

When I become a mother, I would want to look as hot and stylish as that. ) Being a mother doesn't justify wearing maternity and baggy clothes. Mothers are amazing people and so should their clothes! :)

My brother's Capping and Candlelighting Ceremony.

Christmas Wishlist. :D

They are not in chronological order.

  

Pictures searched from Google Images.

1. Books

Yes, particularly Paulo Coelho set and Harry Potter series. I've read a few books by Paulo Coelho but they are owned by my uncle and I've read all Harry Potter series (Except the last one. Not yet.) but I just borrowed them from my Mom's friend. So I want my own set of those. :D

But I wouldn't mind receiving or buying books other than those.

Picture searched from apple.com.

2. iTouch

Just because! :D Do I need any reason? HAHA. :D Specifically this model and generation.

Pictures are from weheartit.com, theglamourai.com, freshome.com, the decorista blog.

3. Closet, wardrobe and Room upgrade.

Since we've just moved to a new place, my room isn't as cool as I want it to be. Just yet. My yellow colored walls will stay. But my closet (and wardrobe including!!! I have to giveaway some of my clothes to give way for the new ones I'm going to buy anytime soon. Hee. ) and other little areas in my room needs to be modified to maximize the space and to fit to my needs and things. (And when I say things, I mean THINGS. Haha!)

Picture is from weheartit.com.

4. Modified sewing machine

My grandmother's old and antique sewing machine was passed to me as an heirloom (Nah, more like I asked them if I can have it since no one seems to want it. Hee.) and I intend to redecorate it like this. :)

5. Pass my US Board Exams

Do I need any further explanations? :D This holds the biggest spot in my list.

Pictures searched over Google Images.

6. Work

As a nurse, yes. As a designer, why not? :D But I prefer being a nurse first since I intend to study fashion just yet. :)

 Pictures searched over Google Images.

7. Go or move out of the Philippines

:D You'll know why evenutally. :)

8. College of Saint Benilde or School of the Fashion and the Arts Scholarship

As I said (even before), I intend to study fashion. And when I said study, I meant DEGREE. Be it Bachelor's or Associate's. :D

Pictures searched from refinery29.com, American Eagle and Google Images.

9. SHOES and BAGS!


I envied my brother's boat shoes so I want one in red. 
I think shoes that are in shade of beige or ecru are hot and sexy. 
I want oxfords because I think they are cute. 
I adore boots. PERIOD. I'm one of the few who wears it despite living in the tropics. Hee.
I love messenger bags and satchels -- classic yet stylish, practical and spacious yet fashionable. :D 
So yeah, this is the impulsive shopper in me speaking. Haha.

My Christmas wishlist doesn't necessarily have to happen all at the same time this December. It can extend up to next year since some of which needed more time to be accomplished.

So how about you, what's your Christmas wishlist? :)


Addendum: Christmas List Update! :D

10. Urban Outfitters Bike

See HERE.

11.  Fujifilm Instax MINI 7s White Instant Film Camera


See HERE.

12.  Men's watch

I saw this from my friend  and he painstakingly made me guess for 2 hours as to where he bought it. Darn. Hahaha.