you know what's sadder with all these tv coverage of former President Cory Aquino's burial? i was able to watch it and it reminded me of my grandparents... i wasn't even present or to even witness my OWN grandparents' burial... the price i have to pay for being two letters heavier huh? :'(
four days ago, the former President Cory Aquino lost to her year-long battle with colon cancer. the way people paid respect by attending her wake and burial was surprising for her family that she left behind because though she is a famous spiritual and political figure, she remained behind the scene as much as possible after her term. even for me, i was surprised and somehow overwhelmed i guess, because it was as if i saw what happened in 1983, when people mourned for his husband, Benigno Aquino.
the way people responded to her death cannot be questioned because she was our former President whose husband, also a famous political figure, was assassinated when he went against the Marcos government. we lost a good person in the society. i may not be alive during the 1983 and i may be a little child when she became president but i know that she may not be the best but she is the good president that i know of. yeah, well, that makes her the best actually. haha.
but i have to agree with what my mom said. she was placed in presidential position because of the people's hatred for Marcos and people's mouring over her husband's death whom they place blame on Marcos and her will to help the people as well. it's not as if her term was really useless but she didn't do anything significant, economically speaking. yes, being a president is a tough job. let alone being a woman and proving to the rest of the society that 'you are not just simple a woman' but a woman of character and strength and someone who can handle a country. having 9 coup attempts against her administration raised the question of her authority, strength and capability as president. surviving 9 coup attempts gave the answers to that question that she was able to overcame this militants. i guess this is where the people's respect originated. she was a woman, a mother, a friend, a spiritual person, a grandmother, a wife, a president all combined in one persona and we have to applaud her for being able to balance them all and be good in every category that she was in.
but then again, watching her wake and burial, it reminded me of my lola. she also died of cancer, lung cancer. it made me realize how much i missed the moment. i mean, i could and should have been there. before, during and after her death. when i was younger, she used to take care of me because we used to live with her. but when my parents were able to find a house of their own, the bonding and the moments become lesser and lesser. tipong reunion na lang kami nagmi-meet. then hanggang sa hindi na talaga because she got sick. i was only able to visit her twice in the hospital. blame it to my hectic school sched. and i was able to attend the first say of her wake lang. yeah, call me 'what-the-hell-of-granddaughter-this-girl-is' but my family and relatives didn't want me to come. they told me that i should focus on my review for board exams and to not be stressed about the family situation. my grandma would have said the same thing, i know. i was not able to take all of it in yet then four days later, my grandpa died as well. that hit me hard. i was in antipolo for our review then upon waking up, i read my mom's text. i was like, 'this is so not happening.' i was shocked and i cried. i so want to fly to iloilo and be there to see them both for the last time but i wasn't able to...
buti nga yung kay cory nakita ko diba? it just saddens me na sa ibang tao nakita ko. samantalang ung sa sarili kong kamag-anak, hindi. tapos on the 40th of my grandparents, nalaman ko na medyo may tampo sakin ang lola ko kasi di ko na daw siya dinadalaw. it was said to me by her friend. do you know how it hurts to hear that?? oh gosh. i guess i really missed out a lot with her... i don't know how can i still make up for that. i know i can't... kaya to my grandparents, sorry for not being the best granddaughter. fault is on my part. i hope that you don't hate me for this. i promise to try my very best to make you still proud of me regardless of my inadequacies as your granddaughter. i may not be the best granddaughter but i hope you will be proud of me somehow that i am your granddaughter. maybe i can make up for time lost in the future. when we see each other again... pero wag muna ngayon lola and lolo, ha? i miss you both. love you both much. hug.
and HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO MY BESTFRIEND! :)