While heating my food in the microwave, a random thought crossed my mind...
"I am bored."
Not your usual kind of boredom that lounging in the couch, eating sweets and tiring my eyes watching my favorite series can resolve.
Everything seemed monotonous lately. Not that I am complaining. Okay, maybe I am. No, I am aware of how blessed I am and there are more worse problems than what I am feeling. But I just can't help but think, "I am 25, probably at my prime to do something crazy, something passionate, something more fun, something that will actually make more sense and meaning to me. But here I am doing unexciting things instead, pretending that all of this is still fun."
I do not enjoy being in this kind of state. There is no element of excitement. I mean, I appreciate the whole idea of having a 'routine,' of knowing what you are going to do every hour, everyday. But I am a person who prefers having a new and different element in the middle of a routine or every single day of my existence. Same shit, different day -- it is starting to wear me out. Yet again. I clearly know this feeling. This was the same feeling that I felt when I drastically and randomly decided to move to Australia. I am tired but I have almost two more months to endure.
My irrational self is telling me, "Oh f*ck this. Ayoko na."
My rational self is telling me, "Breathe. Patience. This is for you. The bigger picture."
Lord, gusto ko na mag-November. Gusto ko na rin mag-2015.
Pero gusto ko rin mag-birthday muna. :)
(Gee, ang tagal kong hindi nag-update at ka-echosan pa na-type ko.)