If you answered, "Last year." Well, lucky you!
As for me? It was 7 years ago.
Yes, S-E-V-E-N long years A-G-O. Year 2003. It was the last time that I looked forward for that day...
Looking back at that day now, I mean, it's nothing really grand but it was surely special for a 14-year old high school girl... I didn't know he had something for me. I was talking to my friends while waiting for the morning assembly to start. They were asking if this guy is going to give me something for Valentine's and suddenly, their eyes seemed to have popped out of the socket. I turned around and there he was, walking towards me with a big, I mean, BIG (not the ones you see during wake ah!) bouquet of white roses in his hands. I was surprised because we weren't a couple and I didn't actually expect him to give me something. (Yeah, I take that back! Haha!) Well, I expected something but not that kind, a smaller bouquet or even a three-piece set of flowers. I felt overwhelmed and I didn't know what to say when he handed it to me. I was like, "Uhh. Oh my gosh. Uhm. Thank you." I tell you, I felt I was the most beautiful girl in the campus because I was carrying in my arms, going to our classroom, the biggest bouquet in school that day. I received the most 'bongga' one and everybody noticed it (I mean, who wouldn't? I look like a beauty queen minus the crown and the wave-to-people part. Haha.). It was pretty heavy by the way. Its scent was all over the classroom. With that simple gesture, I really felt like a girl, a special girl. So yeah, looking back at it now, it just makes me smile... :)
Since the day we broke up and for seven years, I have spent Valentine's day mostly with my single friends or family. For seven years, all I received were sweet nothings from my friends (Don't take me wrong, I highly appreciated those. Very much.) and nothing sweet from a special or even a random guy. For seven years, I have never spent it with a guy who is not my friend and I never even went out for a date. No, actually, I have never been on a real date. Yeah, call me poor little lady. I'm 21 and I've never been on a real date, as in real, real cheesy date. Oh geez. So as for my first real date, whoever you are, please make it special and unique. Surprise and impress me! Haha! :)
For seven years, this shitty fever keeps on coming back days before the 14th and haunting me. I have always tried to be happy on Valentine's Day and I was. Yeah, well, there were days when I thought I was happy but I really wasn't because for an unknown and coincidental reason, my heart seems to mostly crack and break at the right season, like Christmas or Valentine's! Whew. Speaking of which, the most painful Valentine's I ever had in my life was senior year in high school and let's not get started talking about that.
See, all I have was teenybopper memories of Valentine's. Come on, I'm in my early 20's already! Haha! But bottomline, I just miss that super-cheesy, butterflies-in-the stomach, makes-you-want-to-jump-out-of-super-kilig feeling. I had been wanting and waiting for 7 long years to spend that day with someone special other than my friends. I don't care if it's nothing grand or if it's super cheesy, I mean, that's what Valentine's is all about. Making someone feel special, being cheesy and oh-so-romantic, right? :)
Hmm, well, along that 7 years, you all know another 'he' happened. Again, nothing grand. And no flowers nor gifts. But there were fireworks and spark. A lot of sparks and ear-pounding fireworks. I was just ecstatically happy to have met him... But that's all there is to it. Nothing really happened, no moving forward. I thought a change in what-seems-to-be-a-routine-for-Valentine's-celebration was going to happen already but it didn't and is surely not gonna happen anytime now. God just allowed me to take a 'glimpse'. :) But I hope it's gonna happen anytime soon (not necessarily with him), like next year, perhaps? Hahaha!
Oh gosh, why am I still single until now? I just want to fall in love. I just want someone to love me in a different way, is that too much to ask? I just want to feel like a girl and be treated special. I just want to be happy in a different way. It's not as if something is lacking in my life or I'm in a hurry for love (but I'm a sucker for it actually. Haha!), it's just that I miss those days. And it happens to be this day when I miss it the most, when the Single Awareness Day hits you straight in the face. And it also happens that I am too KESO today! Haha. :)
It's not everyday, trust me. Seasonal. HAHAHA! :)
14 February 2007
Anyway, No one's going to stop me from celebrating the Couples Day even if I'm single. I am going to spend the Valentine's on the 12th. Yes, you guessed it right, with my friends! Date with my single friends! :) Date with 6 people on the same day isn't so bad at all. Not at all bad. I am lucky and I am one heck of a single lady! I mean, compared to couples out there? They can only get out with one, but me, I GOT 6! SIX. Beat that! HAHAHA! :)