It's my first entry for this year! :) And my first entry with a new blog address! :) Yeah, I thought of changing it because, as I said to my friends, the former blog address lost it's meaning to me. It sounded sad so I thought of changing it to a more girly one. Haha.
So I've made my own personal Day Zero Project. Of course, that list is a secret! :) Thanks to Liana for that idea. :)
For this year, I don't want or intend to promise anything. I just want my 2010 to be a blast, to be happy, to be full of love and to be another year of accomplishment. And that Day Zero List of mine will be helpful because it's my ticket to make my 2010 fun! I included there things I haven't done yet so it's gonna be exciting! :) I also included things I planned to do after my board exam last year but I wasn't able to (I don't know why I wasn't able to do them, to think I had 6 months of being a bum?!). I said earlier that my list was a secret, right? Haha. Okay, that will be enough. :)
I know my entry title is all about 'Good Vibes' but this part isn't all about good vibes. But I just have to let this off my system (medyo matagal na rin to) so as to achieve 'Good Vibes', right?
Okay, I can't say I am a good friend but I try to be. In my effort to help a friend, you haven't noticed that I am being caught in between which isn't supposed to be because I am not involved here. I was just trying to help. It's hard to keep up and say something when you don't know what they exactly did and what exactly happened but upon hearing whatever those actions or events were, you just knack your brain and sensible mind out to understand it. Both of you are my close friends and due to my inevitable position of somehow being the sole link to each other, naiipit na ako. Ayokong may may masaktan sa inyo as much as possible pero ang hirap kasi I am afraid that I might say something I should not have, I might say something that might lead to another thought bubble, I might say something that might cross that line. I am just a friend, I have no right to really meddle into your own personal affairs. The truth is, it's an emotional overload to me already. Mali na ma-carried away ako with the situation but being in the middle, di ko naiwasan. I know may iba pang nakakaalam pero kasi ang point ko, care to tell me what is really going on because since that night, bits and pieces lang ang alam ko. I don't know what to really say to my other friend. Hanggang sa naubusan na ako ng sasabihin and energy to even attempt to say something. Hindi sa gusto ko isumbat to sayo but I even set aside my love issue at inuna ko yung tulungan kayo and the least thing you could have done was to listen and wait for me to speak. I honestly don't know what's going on and I really had no idea what was really happening tapos bababaan mo ko ng telepono? I set aside this inis I have for you because it's the holiday season and I don't want to be pissed off at issues that does not really involve me. You could have at least thought about me and given me consideration. I know at that point, considering how I felt was the least of your concern pero ako na nga ang nag-eeffort to talk to you about this thing, ayaw mo naman ako replyan. I know you are busy and you don't want to talk about it at that time, I get that. We agreed that we will talk on 2010 pero again, di mo na ako nireplyan. Tapos ngayon na akala ko out na ako sa topic na ito, you'll talk to me about it. I've had enough already. Gaano na ba katagal tong issue na ito? It's not that I don't want to listen or talk, it's just that I want you to notice or to even give a damn that I don't like what's happening, that I don't like being caught in between, that it's draining knowing too much emotional information and I have no one else to talk to about it and I don't like being treated this way because it makes me feel like I am taken for granted.
And as for you my other friend, I appreciate you for trusting me and for sharing this with me. Wala naman akong issue sayo e, sa kanya lang talaga. I don't mind you sharing your feelings and thoughts pero sa totoo lang at ayoko sana sabihin to pero nauubusan na rin ako ng sasabihin or advice sayo. I never asked you to follow any of it pero kasi I was being careful nga na baka may masabi ako na di dapat or yung mga bagay na dapat sa kanya galing e masabi ko pa diba? I hope you understand what I am trying to say. It's not that I don't want to help you. It's just that I somehow know his side and I don't want to be the one laying it out for you (Well, sinabi rin naman nya sayo eventually and you figured it out on your own.) at baka din kasi nga madulas ako or may ma-misinterpret ka sa mga masabi ko. And you being the girl, I totally get how you feel. Comforting a girl is somehow easy for another girl to do pero kung yung girl na yun e alam ang reason kung bakit nagawa nung isa yung ginawa nya, it's kinda tough. Basta yun, nagegets mo naman ang ibig kong sabihin diba? And I hate to say this but gaano na ba katagal tong issue na ito? I just think this should be put to an end para di na kayo parehong mawindang pa nang paulit-ulit.
Regardless all this drama, I still care for the both of you. I just want what's best for the both of you, wag nyo lang sana akong biglain ng sobra-sobra at wag nyo naman akong gawing shock absorber. Wala nga akong ka-ide-idea sa mga nangyayari tapos binombard nyo ako. Yun lang naman ang request ko sana. I just hope this won't get in the way of our friendship and I hope you will still talk to me regarding sa mga life issues nyo, basta wag nyo lang ako bibiglain nga na nasa climax na tayo agad ni hindi ko man lang alam ang start.
Whew, so much for the first entry for the year huh? Haha. ;p Okay, the next entries should all be about happiness (I hope and I wish!)! Haha.